Why can't we?

"There is nothing in which the birds differ more from man than the way in which they can build and yet leave a landscape as it was before."

Robert Lyndon

n

Oh for one of these

and I mean the hug not the dog :P

Peace

*Sigh*

I don't know when I'm going to get back to posting regularly, unfortunately my circumstances have changed and things are a little fluid and confused at the moment. So I'm going to post overload today :) well sort of anyway. Hopefully it won't be to long before things get back to "normal"

Giggle

Came across this on an old backup disk and just couldn't resist posting it :)

Reasons

"Some men have thousands of reasons why they cannot do what they want to, when all they need is one reason why they can."
Willis Whitney

I'm sure trying

Peace,

This says it all I guess

"There will be times in life when impossibility is felt, but then there are dreams - and dreams allow us possibility."
Jeffrey David Lang

Wisdom

The beginning of wisdom is to desire it.

Don't ask

I really have no idea why this particular picture appeals to me. I came across it quite by accident and just had to share it. :)

Beauty

"The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched - they must be felt with the heart."

Hellen Keller

*smile*

You know sometimes I think the universe has a really sick sense of humor. I've had media player on random today and a song I haven't heard in absolute ages jumped out at me just now. It's a song I used to love at one time but just haven't heard or even thought of in ages. And yes here comes another of my horribly embarrassing secrets, I'm a fan of Aha (laugh all you want)and it's one of their's. It just seemed so appropriate in light of my previous post

Forever not yours

Hold me tight
This is a lonely night
And I've hurt you baby
Because you are my light
Make me strong
Just like you make me weak
When your hands reach out for me
Even in your sleep

I'll soon be gone now
Forever not yours
It won't be long now
Forever not yours

Memories they keep coming through
The good ones hurt more
Than the bad ones do
The days were high
And the nights were deep
And I miss you baby
I miss you baby

I'll soon be gone now
Forever not yours
It won't be long now
Forever not yours

Make or break

Saturday was one of those make or break days, it was one of those days that leaves you feeling like a failure even though the failure is not entirely yours.

But maybe I should explain.

All week I had been feeling like I was on the verge losing and I just couldn't figure it out, well Saturday cleared that up. I had gotten so involved in the fight to save something that I had realised months ago wasn't working, that I'd actually lost myself in it. I was trying so hard to be what someone else wanted me to be, that I was getting further and further away from where I really was.
In short I've been lying to myself and I guess I finally couldn't anymore.
And thats where the sense of loss was coming from. You see I've been "seeing" someone (LOL, yes, one of the myriad of men in my life) for about 6 months now and as far back as April I had realised something was not right, that as much as I loved being with him, and how he made me feel some of the time, the rest of the time he left me feeling not good enough, like I could never measure up to what he wanted and who he wanted me to be. And instead of walking away then, I foolishly agreed to taking a break and starting over, trying to rebuild what had started out as something promising.

Well Saturday was the final straw, he made me feel inadequate for the very last time, I finally walked away, actually no, I never walked away, I kicked him out and told him not to bother contacting me again.

Yep, I finally got it, I finally realised that if he can't accept ground rules and the fact that I had asked for them, if he can't accept that I'm still learning and growing into me and keeps insisting on trying to make me into something I'm not ready to be, then I'm better off just letting go.

I could, I guess look at this as another failure because thats how I felt on Saturday afternoon, another time where I was just not good enough but you know something I'm not, I have decided that this was just another step on the learning curve I'm on and that I'm one step closer to me.

Or so they say

Nature, time and patience are the

three best physicians

Silence

"Use what talents you possess: the woods would be very silent

if no birds sang there except those that sang best."

Henry Van Dyke

Zen

"From the withered tree,

a flower blooms."

Zen Saying

There is just something about her

Excellence

"Strive for excellence, not perfection."

H. Jackson Brown Jr

Just something I heard this morning

When you're standing on the edge of nowhere
There's only one way up
So your heart's got to go there
Through the darkest night
See the light shine bright
When hero's fall, in love or war
They live forever

Stupid

Yep, I realised last night that I'm a total genius when it comes to being stupid and doing stupid things. Most people have at least got the excuse of being under the influence of some sort of mind altering substance but not me. NO, I manage to do the stupidest things when I'm stone cold sober and have both feet supposedly firmly planted on the ground. Last night was my crowning glory, I've never yet managed to achieve so high on the stupidity meter and I doubt I ever will again. Just call me pure STUPID genius. . . . . . . .

Friendship

"Friendship is always a

sweet responsibilty

NEVER

an opportunity"

Kahlil Gibran

Oh .........

to JUST disappear

Why.....................

It's one of those perfect days that I love, grey, overcast, cold but not to cold with a promise of rain, a day perfect for cuddling and hot chocolate.

The kind of day that normally gives me such hope and energy and yet today I can't seem to even find it within myself to see anything good never mind see the beauty I normally see in days like this.

The clouds almost encasing the world in a puffy grey layer of cotton wool, the pigeons clustered together in little dents in the ground for warmth that make me marvel at the ingenuity of nature. The crispness in the air that energises me , its all left me feeling NOTHING, even the prospect of hot chocolate with marshmallows can't seem to bring a smile to my face.

My brother thinks it's that tomorrow would have been my mom's 59th birthday, but it's not. Yes I miss her, yes I wish she was here because I have so much I would like to share and I'd like her to see how far I've come and to hear her laugh at how stupid I know I've been in some respects.

But that's NOT it.

It's something else, something I feel deep inside, something I can't explain, something that I'm scared to look at because I have a feeling I'm not going to like what it is I see. It's something that has me feeling more alone than I've ever felt and has me scared. It's almost as if I'm saying goodbye and letting go of something but I'm not sure what. It's strange to realise I'm scared, I'm alone and I'm in desperate need of the one thing I don't have and theres absolutely nothing I can do about it, even if I could find it anywhere in me to want to do something. . . . . . . . . . . . . .

If only I could

In the

*Goofy Grin*

Ok so I admit it sometimes people surprise me in the nicest way.

Just a little wisdom

Anger begins with folly, and ends with regret

Miss you

What If

If Today Was Your Last Day

Songwriters: Kroeger, Chad;

My best friend gave me the best advice
He said each day's a gift and not a given right
Leave no stone unturned, leave your fears behind
And try to take the path less traveled by
That first step you take is the longest stride

If today was your last day and tomorrow was too late
Could you say goodbye to yesterday?
Would you live each moment like your last
Leave old pictures in the past?
Donate every dime you had, if today was your last day?
What if, what if, if today was your last day?

Against the grain should be a way of life
What's worth the price is always worth the fight
Every second counts 'cause there's no second try
So live like you're never living twice
Don't take the free ride in your own life

If today was your last day and tomorrow was too late
Could you say goodbye to yesterday?
Would you live each moment like your last?
Leave old pictures in the past?
Donate every dime you had?

And would you call those friends you never see?
Reminisce old memories?
Would you forgive your enemies?
And would you find that one you're dreaming of?
Swear up and down to God above
That you'd finally fall in love if today was your last day?

If today was your last day
Would you make your mark by mending a broken heart?
You know it's never too late to shoot for the stars
Regardless of who you are

So do whatever it takes
'Cause you can't rewind a moment in this life
Let nothing stand in your way
'Cause the hands of time are never on your side

If today was your last day and tomorrow was too late
Could you say goodbye to yesterday?
Would you live each moment like your last?
Leave old pictures in the past?
Donate every dime you had?

And would you call those friends you never see?
Reminisce old memories?
Would you forgive your enemies?
And would you find that one you're dreaming of
Swear up and down to God above
That you'd finally fall in love if today was your last day?

I know I've posted these before (April 28th) but I guess I'm having a little bit of a crisis comming up to my mom's birthday, it just brings home so much that we all take for granted and makes me wonder what I would do if I knew today was my last day. . . . . . . . . .

Just popping in to say

Little things

"Have confidence that if you have done a little thing well, you can do a bigger thing well too."

Storey

Lol,

Ok my thoughts really are all over today, or maybe it's those bouncy balls that are back just in a different form this time. This just seemed to say hello listen to me...................

Love and attraction.
It's like sex and passion.
It's two ends of a spectrum.
Are you a friend or lover?
Now pick one or the other.

Love and attraction
It's like joy and sadness
It's like peace and conflict
You can chase them forever
Are they ever together?

Love and attraction
You can chase them forever
Are they ever together?

Time. . . . . . .

You know it's funny, time really is fleeting.

Yesterday afternoon I was busy with something that had me digging through some documents from last year and I realised that it's been over a year since the catalyst for change walked or should I rather say smiled into my life.

It's scary to be able look back at the person I was just 365 short days ago and see how far I've come in that year. In some areas it's been leaps and bounds forward without a backward glance, in others it's been more tentative and smaller steps but they've been forward never the less, there are even an area or two that I'm tempted to say I've gone backwards because that's how it feels sometimes and yet I haven't really gone backwards or even stayed the same, the changes have just been different, more subtle and maybe not so noticeable. I even gave some thought to how different things would have been if change hadn't come along in the form it did and I think I may still have changed but just in different ways and maybe not in the ways I have now, actually, definitely not in the ways I have, the darkness almost certainly would have won. It's almost as if the change that came along and dragged me kicking and screaming back into the light, out of the shadows that where slowly consuming me and all I was meant to be. And you know something there are days that I wish for the shadows and darkness and the me who used to live in them but I wouldn't go back to that me for all the money or anything else in the world because as much as there are bad days I'm loving the me who is LEARNING to Live, Love and Laugh

Just a thought from Nickleback

Against the grain should be a way of life
What's worth the price is always worth the fight
Every second counts 'cause there's no second try
So live like you're never living twice

What if it all means something???

Dreams

If you have a dream, give it a chance to happen."

Richard de Vos

Hehehehe

Behave? Sure, I'll try anything once

*Smile*

A friend is a present you give yourself

Do we ????

Last weekend my brother decided in a fit of insanity during one of his brief visits to turn my flat into a scrap yard and bring boxes out of storage because he was looking for something. (and yes there is a post in that bit of insanity too) In amongst the boxes was a box of stuff of my mom’s, now this is a box that’s been moving with us for years and just never seemed to get unpacked, or not that we saw anyway, so of course being me I couldn’t resist the temptation and open it I did. The contents made me realize that as well as I thought I knew my mom I actually didn’t know her. You see this box was full of books, prayer books, hymn books and Bibles. This wouldn’t be strange to anyone who didn’t know her but to me it was really weird. You see I grew up in what could only be called a weird way I guess. We where never forced to go to church or Sunday school or any of those “religious” things, yes we celebrated Christmas and Easter (don’t even think of getting me started on those 2) but we where NEVER religious and churches where for christenings, weddings and funerals. My mom always maintained religion had been forced on her as a child and that she had sworn that no child of hers would be forced to go through that hell, that they would find their own way, the way she seemed to have found hers with fairies, angels candles and crystals. And she was true to that right till her death and her instructions that there be no religious service for her and no in case you’re wondering there wasn’t. Both my brother and I have also gone on to find our own ways and beliefs and yes they are a little different but they’re our beliefs. (Lol yes actually they would make for interesting posts and maybe they will one day). But back to my mom and this box of books, these books had obviously been out of the box and some are well worn and obviously used. Yes there are a couple that even I can guess are sentimental but the others have me puzzled and wondering. Even if you know someone all your life and believe you know them well do you EVER really KNOW someone????

Inside Chaos

It’s been one of those strange days, where everything seems to be chaos and crisis and yet in the midst of all that you feel at peace and accomplish more than you thought you would. Ok not entirely true the accomplishing thing because I never got half of what had on my to do list and wanted to do done but I did get all the chaos and crisis stuff popped up that wasn’t on my to do list done so yes I did accomplish more than I thought I would. Now all I need to do is sort out these blooming bouncy balls that are all over in my head although this time they’re only ideas so if I get them down on “paper” they may be easier to control. For some reason I think there may even be a blog post or 3 in amongst all these strange, crazy and weird ideas……or at least I hope so J

Go for it

There's no substitute for guts."

Bear Bryant

Believe

"The only thing that stands between a man and what he wants from life is often merely the will to try it and the faith to believe that it is possible."

Serenity

Just in case you need one

Time to LIVE

Everything has been figured out, except how to live."

Jean-Paul Sartre

*Sigh*

We'll do it all
Everything
On our own

We don't need
Anything
Or anyone

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

I don't quite know
How to say
How I feel

Those three words
Are said too much
They're not enough

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

Forget what we're told
Before we get too old
Show me a garden that's bursting into life

Let's waste time
Chasing cars
Around our heads

I need your grace
To remind me
To find my own

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

Forget what we're told
Before we get too old
Show me a garden that's bursting into life

All that I am
All that I ever was
Is here in your perfect eyes, they're all I can see

I don't know where
Confused about how as well
Just know that these things will never change for us at all

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

I wonder what you'd say if I asked you too?????

And yes it's Snow Patrols Chasing Cars

Forever

I stand alone in the darkness
The winter of my life came so fast
Memories go back to my childhood
To days I still recall

Oh how happy I was then
There was no sorrow there was no pain
Walking through the green fields
Sunshine in my eyes

I'm still there everywhere
I'm the dust in the wind
I'm the star in the northern sky
I never stayed anywhere
I'm the wind in the trees
Would you wait for me forever?

Bouncy, bouncy

like one of those little rubber bouncy balls that we all had as children and used to torment our parents.
That's how my headspace has felt for weeks now. I couldn't seem to settle, one moment I was content to be in control and the next for no reason at all I needed to be controlled and then in the next I didn't want either, like completely random huge big bounces.
It was bouncing around so much I had trouble keeping up with it myself, so it came as no surprise when I was taken to task about it and the way it was impacting on the time I spent with someone. It was really strange trying to explain something I myself didn't and still don't understand.
I mean how do you explain something that came on out of nowhere and in mid explanation changed how you where feeling and what you wanted??? How do you explain that you're not being difficult or deliberate and that as much as you wanted something 10 min ago, you just cant face it now and would rather have something completely different.
I still have no idea where it came from or what caused it but at least it seems to have settled and nothing has changed in days. I suddenly seem to be able to say, I know what I want without having to fear it will change before I have the words out, even the words seem to come out more easily.

Now if I can only get what I want to bounce my way ;)

Just something random

that says so much to me today...............

So long ago, another life
I can feel your heartbeat
It's not a dream, remember us
I could see it in your eyes
We'll find our place in time
A place in time, beyond the sun
We'll find our place in time
A place in time to call our own

lol

Ok so this is actually quite old but I was looking for a pic of bouncy balls to go with the post I'm busy writing when I came across it and thought I'd post it anyway so here it is.......http://www.twistedsun.net/files/28abe46aee9b036f5fa5456ac7970a71-230.html

*Sigh*

Imagination

I am enough of an artist to draw freely upon my imagination. Imagination is more important than knowledge. Knowledge is limited. Imagination encircles the world."

Albert Einstein

6 degrees of dare I say it........ Love

Boy oh boy, I am driving myself nuts now, I started off writing a post about change, took a detour past what I want in a relationship, via the 3 men who have had an impact on my life in the last year back to change and now here I am at trying to figure out feelings or at least that’s where I think this post is going. I started thinking about it while I was writing about the guys and the impact they had on me and how different my feelings for the 2 that are still here are and yes here comes the big shocking admission that’s bound to send them both running for the hills but I’m going to say it anyway. I love them both. Just in very different ways.

And before anyone jumps to conclusions that may be wrong let me clarify that even though I love them both I am not at this point in love with either of them.

With the first there is that passion, laughter, fun and I hope respect and understanding. I love him for the way he makes me feel when I’m with him, I love him for everything I’m learning about myself because of him, I love him for the fact that he is allowing me to explore who I am and is right there with me discovering things I never knew about myself, I love the things we share, the things we do together, I love the time I spend with him, I’ve never felt as alive as I do when I’m with him. I love that we have as much in common as we do, I love that we would both be considered strange if people knew some of the things we know about each other, I love the fact that I can talk to him, I love that for the first time in a really long time I feel I can trust. I love the way he makes out that his kid’s are the Bain of his existence and yet he lights up with love and pride when he talks about them So yes I love him and yes it’s going to hurt like hell when he’s not there anymore as I’ve already learnt. But I got a second chance and hopefully if there is a next time I will have grown enough to go on without it hurting as much as I know it did.

The second is a gentle soul who needs me in some small way, he makes me feel cared for and nurtured, he respects me for who, I am and is growing with me and I love him for it. I love that he’s jealous even though he knew going in he wasn’t the only man in my life just like I knew I wasn’t the only woman in his. I love that he is giving me a chance to explore the one side of me that I’m scared of, I love that he thinks my million useless facts are cute, I love that I can talk movies with him and that it even includes “chick flicks” I love that he is protective of me but is sh!t scared of the one person I need the most protection from. I love the way his kids are his world and how he drops everything for them even if it wrecks plans weeks in the making. I love the fact that he and his ex-wife are still best friends even after 2 failed attempts at marriage. I love that he wants me to be independent but can’t resist doing little things that make me just a little dependant on him. Did it hurt when we suddenly didn’t connect anymore, yes but I survived. Am I going to waste this second chance? No, because I think that he is someone I could build a future with.

So there you have it not only do I care to much as one of them told me ;) but now I’ve admitted to an even bigger fault I love as well

My wings

My 3 wise or maybe not so wise many

Over the last year there have been a number of new people who have come into my life and in their own ways each of them have had an impact on me and who I’m becoming. Three though have stood out and I guess made the most impact.

The first I’ve written about before. This is someone who in the last year has become more important to me than I care to admit or I think he realizes. He has indirectly and directly been the catalyst for some of the biggest changes in me. I guess you could say in some strange way he is almost a type of mentor not that he is by any means old or staid or any of those other words associated with mentors. Quite the opposite actually if I look at him I see vibrance, passion, knowledge and it sure as h3ll doesn’t hurt that he is downright sexy. He challenges me, he makes me push my boundaries, he makes me want to grow, he makes me want to become the me I’m supposed to be not just the me who was coasting, hiding in plain sight hoping no one would see me. He has helped me rediscover a passion, caring and gentleness I thought I’d lost a long time ago. He has me feeling and wanting things that I have denied for far too long. But most importantly he just lets me be me, meltdowns and all.

The second I wouldn’t have met if not for the first and his pushing me to test my limits.

We both have issues and we both need time but I think if we try we may be able to grow this into something that could be special. He has given me a control I’ve never had before, he’s given me a sense of self that I don’t quite understand yet but it feels good. He has brought out a different more grown up side to me as well, it could be that he’s older, who knows. He makes me feel nurtured and important and cared about even if it’s not very often. We may have lost our way for a while there but we’re trying to get it back, we’re taking it slowly and only time will tell. There may not be the same passion and intensity but there is definitely something that I feel deep down is worth exploring.

The third well the less I say about him the better but he definitely merits a mention. He came along at a time when I was feeling really vulnerable, I had just lost or at least thought I’d lost the one person who I thought was keeping me on track and he seemed to be everything any girl could ever want. Turned out he was (yes he is no longer part of my life) one of those a$$holes that insinuates his way into your life through others and then brings out nothing but the worst in you though. He tried to take away my hard fought for control and very nearly succeeded too. He showed me everything in myself and others that I don’t want. The fact that he didn’t grasp the word no was the death knell for him and if I never see him again it will be a lifetime to soon.

So yes here we have three very different men, men who for very different reasons have all in their own way contributed to making me who I am today and helped me on my journey to who I’m going to eventually be and yes I am glad I met them all even the silly a$$ who is gone and will hopefully soon be forgotten.

:)

A promise

Love and stuff

What happened on Sunday and Monday with 2 sets of friends splitting up made me sit and re-look at what it is, I want and more importantly what I need in a relationship, a list of requirements of sorts for what will hopefully be a successful relationship of some sort at some point. It’s funny really because I thought the list would be littered with girly things like love, marriage,children and romance, yes that silly girl fairytale we all believe and yet it’s not. Yes they would be nice but I realized that they are by no means essential. I would rather have things like respect, shared interests, laughter, trust, fun, passion, understanding and of course I personally need to be needed and then there is the deal breaker, well for me anyway, the freedom to be who you are and to grow. I mean what’s the point of being with someone who is going to stop you growing as a person and try to keep you the way you are. It’s funny really when I look back I would have never have thought that love and romance would not be numbers 1 and 2 on my list, I never thought someone’s respect would mean more to me than that girly love and marriage notion we all grow up with. I’ve realized that that fictional version of love doesn’t exist in the real world and that it’s far easier to be happy with someone who you can laugh with, who makes you feel good about yourself than it ever was when I was waiting for that thunderbolt that said now I’m happy and in love.

Lol, yes it's change again

I’ve spent a lot of time soul searching of late and have realized some things about myself that I don’t like, some things that scare me and some things that I’m really happy about. Now obviously the things I’m happy about are good, they’re things that I can be proud of, things that I enjoy and things that I’m grateful for, there are even one or 2 that I can admit to loving and they’re all here to stay even if I have to fight to keep them. There is only one option with the things I don’t like though and that’s to change them and change them I will, some of them are going to need serious work, some of them I can ask for help with and some well I have no option but to go it alone. The things that scare me are obviously things that still need some more thought and maybe even some work, but the fact that they scare me gives me a chance to change them before they become things I don’t like. Lol I guess this post was also about change after all

Changes and then some

Yep you guessed it another post on change ……

I have so much I could say about how good change is or how painful change is or how inspiring change is or even how frightening change is but I’m not going to say any of that. The only thing I have left to say about change is that it’s inevitable. Every moment of everyday has the potential to change something in you. Every person in whose company you spend time whether it’s a fleeting moment or years has the potential to do or say something that instigates change within you. Every event no matter how big or small changes you in someway just in how you react and handle it. It’s not the changes themselves that change you but how you deal with the change in you that changes you and makes you grow.. .. .. .. .

TGIF

Changes

I guess with all the changes in me and my life over the last year or so soul searching was inevitable. And of course soul searching is that pot holed road filled with regrets, doubt, self recrimination, meltdowns and the million other things that you don’t really want to feel or think. My road over the last few weeks has been decidedly pot holed and has had a spectacular melt down or 2. Some of it was avoidable and some was just well unpredictable and inevitable. The events that lead to my meltdown last week are so filled with regret and self recrimination that I’m surprised I bounced back as fast as I did. But the soul searching it caused has finally brought me to a point where I can admit that yes I made major mistakes with more than one person in my past and even one or 2 in my present. Yes there are people I’ve lost along the way. Yes there are people I wish I had never met, yes there are people I should have fought harder to keep and there are even people I should never have fought so hard to keep and yes I have regrets but I honestly wouldn’t have changed a single person or moment because each of them as painful as some may have been and as filled with regret as some of them are have made me the person I am, the person who is strong enough even though I myself doubt it regularly to keep on going, to stay on this path of change and growth. And to become the person I’m meant to be, able to be and going to be

NO regrets

I am

"I am only one; but still I am one. I cannot do everything, but still I can do something; I will not refuse to do something I can do."

Helen Keller

Just a Hugg

*smile*

I'll give you all the things that I never get
Give you all I have and have no regret
Take you to the places that I've never been
Forgive you all the things that you cant forget
Take away the pain with my healing hands
Wash away your sins and set your spirit free
You can run from me
You can hide from me
But I am right beside you
In this life.
Let me show you what I'm made of

At odds

It’s been one of those weeks where things happen that are so just so, h3ll I’m not even sure what they are but I guess at odds would be a good place to start. . . .

Sunday night I heard from a friend that she had finally asked her husband for a divorce and he’d agreed. This one was the one that we all have had suspicions about for a long time so it came as no surprise. It’s sad to say that I’ve had my doubts about them since I met them and nothing I’ve seen in the 5 years I’ve known them has ever given me reason to believe that they could make it, even the birth of their son just on 3 years ago was just delaying the inevitable. I have to give them both their dues though they fought for 10 years to make it work before giving in and I would have been glad to see a different outcome because it would have proved me wrong and maybe renewed hope. Now I sadly only get to be there for yet another set of friends who will end up getting hurt by friends that genuinely care about them but end up taking sides. Divorces may be amicable the division of friends never is. Although with all she stands to lose this one has killer battle written all over it.

You may have figured from my post on boxes that I spent Monday night helping yet another friend leave (yep 2 in 2 days go figure). This one I’m not all that sure about, personally I think she’s nuts or at least her reasoning is. To me “he doesn’t get me and isn’t there for me” just isn’t a reason enough to give up after 6 months and leave especially not when just a month ago you bought a house and decided to try for a baby. Not when I know he worships the ground you walk on and literally has and would do anything for you. I think it’s an easy out so you don’t need to work on what ever it is that’s really wrong and yes I have my suspicions what the real cause is and if I’m right well good luck to you but taking sides here isn’t going to be difficult, I may have helped you pack but that’s the last support you’re getting from me.

Tuesday’s took me surprise though, in fact it was so far off the field of expectations that when I heard you could have probably knocked me over with a feather. In fact it’s so surprising I still don’t quite believe it. And no it wasn’t another split either even though that was what I was expecting but something hopefully far happier. Now this is a couple that if you had asked me about I would have told you that about 2 years ago they became purely phone friends when I stopped seeing them because I couldn't stand being expected to take sides in their fights about everything from the color of the new bedroom curtains to the choice of the youngest child’s middle name. To everyone who knew them it was one of those count the days till they either kill each other or split relationships, so the news that they had after nearly 10 years of turbulence, fighting, trial separations and plain old doom and gloom decided that they love each other more than ever and would be renewing the marriage vows next weekend will have left more than one of us shocked, some even dazed and confused.

So here I am sad for a couple that really have tried but still failed, angry at someone who is about to be a used to be friend for not having the guts to be honest or to fight, and for what she’s doing to a really good man and happy for a couple who for all intents and purposes should have failed and yet have literally fought their way back into each others hearts. As I said events that if nothing else are at odds. . . . . .

Aaaaargh Yes it's more lyrics

Hear Me (Kelly Clarkson)

Hear me

Hear me

You gotta be out there
You gotta be somewhere
Wherever you are
I'm waiting
'Cause there are these nights when
I sing myself to sleep
And I'm hopin' my dreams
Bring you close to me
Are you listening?

Hear me
I'm cryin' out
I'm ready now
Turn my world upside down
Find me
I'm lost inside the crowd
It's getting loud
I need you to see
I'm screaming for you to please
Hear me
Hear me

Hear me
Can you hear me?
Hear me

I used to be scared of
Letting someone in
But it gets so lonely
Being on my own
No one to talk to
And no one to hold me
I'm not always strong
Oh, I need you here
Are you listening?

Hear me
I'm cryin' out
I'm ready now
Turn my world upside down
Find me
I'm lost inside the crowd
It's getting loud
I need you to see
I'm screaming for you to please
Hear me

I'm restless and wild
I fall, but I try
I need someone to understand
Can you hear me?
I'm lost in my thoughts
And baby I'm far
For all that I've got
Can you hear me?

Hear me
I'm cryin' out
I'm ready now
Turn my world upside down
Find me
I'm lost inside the crowd
It's getting loud
I need you to see
I'm screaming for you to please
Hear me

Eyore's back

and you, and you, and you, and maybe you, oh and most definitely YOU

Love

"The greatest healing therapy is friendship and love"

(ok so I have friendship, anyone got any love for me?????)

Practise

"Practise is the best of all instructors"

Publilius Syrus

Damn I need more practise ;)

More lyrics

So many people see me this way and yet. . . . . .

Halo

I never promised you a ray of light,
I never promised there'd be sunshine everyday,
I give you everything I have, the good, the bad.
Why do you put me on a pedestal,
I'm so up high that I can't see the ground below,
So help me down you've got it wrong, I don't belong there.


One thing is clear,
I wear a halo,
I wear a halo when you look at me,
But standing from here, you wouldn't say so
you wouldn't say so, if you were me
And I, I just wanna love you,
Oh oh I, I just wanna love you


I always said that I would make mistakes,
I'm only human, and that’s my saving grace,
I fall as hard as I try
So don't be blinded
See me as I really am, I have flaws and sometimes I even sin,
so pull me from that pedestal,
I don't belong there.


One thing is clear,
I wear a halo,
I wear a halo when you look at me,
But standing from here, you wouldn't say so
you wouldn't say so, if you were me
And I, I just wanna love you,
Oh oh I, I just wanna love you

Why you think that you know me
But In your eyes
I am something above you
It’s only in your mind
Only in your mind
I wear a
I wear a
I wear a Halo

Just a thought

And sometimes you get lucky and they come back.....

Imagine

Simple Beauty

Ok so I needed lyrics and here they are

Coming back to life

Where were you when I was burned and broken
While the days slipped by from my window watching
Where were you when I was hurt and helpless
Because the things you say and the things you do surround me
While you were hanging yourself on someone else's words
Dying to believe in what you heard
I was staring straight into the shining sun

Lost in thought and lost in time
While the seeds of life and the seeds of change were planted
Outside the rain fell dark and slow
While I pondered on this dangerous but irresistible pastime
I took a heavenly ride through our silence
I knew the moment had arrived
For killing the past and coming back to life

I took a heavenly ride through our silence
I knew the waiting had begun
And headed straight..into the shining sun

Unknown Legend

She used to work in a diner

Never saw a woman look finer

I used to order just to watch

her float across the floor

She grew up in a small town

Never put her roots down

Daddy always kept movin',

so she did too.

Somewhere on a desert highway

She rides a Harley-Davidson

Her long blonde hair

flyin' in the wind

She's been runnin' half her life

The chrome and steel she rides

Collidin' with

the very air she breathes

The air she breathes.

You know it ain't easy

You got to hold on

She was an unknown legend

in her time

Now she's dressin' two kids

Lookin' for a magic kiss

She gets the far-away look

in her eyes.

Somewhere on a desert highway

She rides a Harley-Davidson

Her long blonde hair

flyin' in the wind

She's been runnin' half her life

The chrome and steel she rides

Collidin' with the very

air she breathes

The air she breathes.

*I found this somewhere ages ago and wanted to post it but it got lost,I found it again this morning so I'm posting it before I lose it again*