Rediscovered..........

As you probably noticed from yesterday's post I'm in a very dark and dreary place.
I'm guessing I probably will be for sometime yet, I still have a lot to deal with and I keep wondering what I have left to lose and when I'm going to lose it.
But I have rediscovered part of my passion.
Last night for the first time in the longest while I felt like me again, I knew who I was and what it is that I needed and wanted to be doing.
I had just lost sight of it.
It doesn't define me and who I am, I'm far more complex than that but it definetly is one of the few things that leaves me feeling alive and excited and willing to take on the world.
I also realised that it's time to let go of what I can do nothing about, there is no saving it, it's had it's time and I've gained from it what I had to. It's not going to be easy because some of it has been around for a long time and has been part of what defined me for so long that I'm going to have to find who I am without it but I'm going to do it.
It is also time to fight for what I want, to save what is worth saving, to stop sitting back and accepting blindly, to stop letting others decide what is best for me or at least what they think is best for me, to make the changes I know need to be made no matter how much they hurt and if they change the way people see me, their loss not mine.
It's time to take back all the bits of me that other people think they are entitled to, it's time to leave those that are holding me back behind me and go forward with those that are helping me grow and become who I'm meant to be.

It's not going to be easy but I'm going to be ME! ! ! !