Sunday Morning's

There I was sitting out on the balcony with my hot chocolate, hot bread and butter and media player having something to say about me remembering and you forgetting while I checked mail in my own little world this morning, when I suddenly realised that I have developed a routine that I follow without fail every Sunday morning.
Wake up
Tidy up
Bubble bath
Across to the city for hot bread
Hot chocolate and Hot bread on the balcony
Bike watching
Peace and quiet
ALONE
Yep it turns out that over the last few months I have developed a no variation timetable for sunday mornings and sundays in general which I have only broken twice since I started, once for a death and the other, well lets just say thats a Sunday I really wish I had stuck to my routine.
It's strange to think that a cocky comment tossed at someone as they left me one random sunday morning has lead to the most comforting, hope filled part of my week.
So yes this routine hating, unpredictablity loving girl has become a creature of habit.
Well on Sunday mornings anyway:)

Dreams

"It is difficult to say what is impossible, for the dream of yesterday is the hope of today and the reality of tomorrow."
Robert H. Goddard

Weird,

in a strangely good and cool way. Thats all I have to say about today.

Sadly smiling through my tears,

Today was the last funeral I hope to attend for a very looooooooooooong time.

It was also probably one of the saddest I've ever attended on a personal level.

It's funny you know I was fine when I heard he had been killed yes I was shocked and saddend but I was ok, I was fine when I spoke to his mother we even shared a laugh or 2 and I was fine this morning when I saw his family together for the first time.

I wasn't so fine though when I walked into the church and saw his coffin.

It suddenly struck me that he was gone and that no matter how much history we shared, it didn't matter just how many memories we had made and that they where all good, I would never see him again, he would never sneak up behind me and kiss my neck again and I would never hear his laugh again.

Ours is a long story that started when he was barely 15 and he moved in with his grandparents 2 houses down from us. By the time he came to work with us he had wormed his way into our lives and double shifts never seemed as long when he was around and despite our age difference he and I clicked on so many levels. He was there for me more than once when I fell apart because of a man, I was there for him when his folks split up and his dad died within months. By the time he turned 18 we where inseprable and it was inevetable that whenever we where single at the same time we always just seemed to be end up together, it was never official and never for very long but it always worked. Then I moved away and he went off to the airforce but somehow we always kept in touch. We would phone for birthdays, spend weekends having fun together, even occasionally hooking up for short periods. When he was around it was like he brought back the pieces of me that I never even knew where missing, something I've only experienced again recently. And when he wasn't, we both just went on with our lives. He got married and divorced, he travelled but we always kept in touch and shared our heartaches and happiness.

He has been part of my life for so long that I'd never even considered that someday he wouldn't be there anymore.

He left me with one more memory today and it's one that made me smile in a sadly happy way. He had written a letter to his mother years ago, telling her that if ever anything should happen to him he wanted these words included in his funeral. They're from Phantom of the Opera which we saw together years ago and which we always seemed to quote to one another in emails and messages. So yes my friend not only will I remember you and think of you fondly, I will also be eternally greatful to you for the one last smile you gave me today.

Think of me

Think of me, think of me fondly

when we've said goodbye

Remember me once in a while

please promise me you'll try

When you find that, once again,

you long to take your heart back

and be free

if you ever find a moment

spare a thought for me

We never said our love was evergreen

or as unchanging as the sea

but if you can still remember

stop and think of me

Think of all the things

we've shared and seen

don't think about the things

which might have been

Think of me, think of me waking,

silent and resigned.

Imagine me, trying too hard

to put you from my mind.

Recall those days

look back on all those times,

think of the things we'll never do

there will never be a day,

when I won't think of you

Long ago, it seems so long ago

How young and innocent we were

She may not remember me

but I remember her

Flowers fade,

The fruits of summer fade,

They have decisions,

so do we

but please promise me,

that sometimes

you will think of me

Shock.....Horror

. . . . . . . I am now officially a cold blooded, heartless, unfeeling b#$%h or at least thats one persons opinion of me today. Lol.......no surprises there

Words to live by,

"The best things in life are never rationed. Friendship, loyalty, love do not require coupons"
George T. Hewitt

No Surprise

With everything that has happened in the last few weeks I've spent a lot of time soul searching and trying to figure out what the hell it is that I want and I've kept coming back to the same thing.
I'm settling and not in a good way either.
I've sat back and settled for what I have. I haven't wanted to take risks and fight for what it is that I really want. I've kept doing things because they are comfortable and there is no risk involved anymore.
I've even kept on seeing someone that I knew I shouldn't be seeing just because it was safe well sort of and I had already lost so much. I held on to him just to be able to say I hadn't lost everything, he certainly isn't what I want and I definetly am not going to fight to keep him.
I heard the new Daughtry single again this morning, ok so it was one of the 3 from my previous post but hearing it again this morning just confirmed to me what I already knew. And you know something, it is no surprise that I'm walking away, because it's not what I want I have no option I'm going to finally just admit that I'm not in this for any of the right reasons and I'm pretty sure it won't come as much of a surprise to anyone that I won't be there tomorrow. . . . . . . . .

and yes I'm posting lyrics again. . . . . . .

No Surprise

I've practiced this for hours,
gone round and round
And now I think that I've got it all down
And as I say it louder, I love how it sounds
Cause I'm not taking the easy way out
Not wrappin' this in ribbons
Shouldn't have to give a reason why

It's no surprise I won't be here tomorrow
I can't believe that I stayed till today
Yeah you and I will be a tough act to follow
But I know in time we'll find this was no surprise

It came out like a river once I let it out
When I thought that I wouldn't know how
Held onto it forever, just pushing it down
Felt so good to let go of it now
Not wrapping this in ribbons
Shouldn't have to give a reason why

It's no surprise I won't be here tomorrow
I can't believe that I stayed till today
There's nothing here in this heart left to borrow
There's nothing here in this soul left to say
Don't be surprised when we hate this tomorrow
God knows we tried to find an easier way
Yeah you and I will be a tough act to follow
But I know in time we'll find this was no surprise

Our favorite place we used to go
The warm embrace that no one knows
The loving look that's left your eyes
That's why this comes as no,
As no surprise

If I could see the future and how this plays out
I bet it's better than where we are now
But after going through this
It's easier to see the reason why

It's no surprise I won't be here tomorrow
I can't believe that I stayed till today(stayed till today)
Yeah you and I will be a tough act to follow
But I know in time we'll find this was no surprise
Our favorite place we used to go
The warm embrace that no one knows
The loving look that's left your eyes
But I know in time we'll find this was no surprise

Truly Strange

Ok so my plans for last night went a little off track, not that I'm complaining a night alone was definetly what I needed. My meeting was cancelled which meant movie night was on after all. Only for me to discover my copy of Four weddings and a Funeral had gone out visiting and neglected to come home. This of course was the end of my plan to spend the evening wondering down memory lane, giggling at Rowan Atkinson. Yes his portrayal of the priest in said movie is still one of the best ever, ask the holy goat if you don't believe me. Ok obscure movie references aside, he makes me giggle and thats what I wanted but wasn't going to get. So this left me alone with nothing to do since tv really holds no entertainment value for me and I didn't really want to watch another movie. Of course this meant I did what I do when I'm at a loose end. I powered up media player and hit random, turned up the volume and sat back with my book and this is where it got just a little strange. You would think that with a personal play list of over 1000 songs you would nearly be guaranteed the odds of not hearing the same song for at least a few hours wouldn't you. Well you'd actually be wrong. In less than an hour I heard the same 3 songs in the same order 3 times. Now I'm not complaining because since they are in a personal play list they are songs I like and choose to listen to. What actually struck me the 3rd time I heard them was the fact that the titles actually formed a sentence. Of course this is where you'd expect me to post the song titles and have a lot to say about what I think it meant but I'm not going to. It was just a strange event that got me thinking about something I've had a vague suspsion about for a while now. Yes it's good and yes it's something I want and hell yes it's something I'm going to fight for and it's something you will also no doubt read about in future posts. But in the meantime I'm just going to sit back and smile at the way the universe sometimes reminds you in strange and mysterious ways that you may actually be on the right track even if it looks wrong to everyone else.

Strange

Earlier I spoke to the friend who died on Friday's mom and as much as she is devestated, she and I had a lovely long conversation about him and how he touched so many lives.
We also took a trip down memory lane and she reminded me of so many things that I had forgotten about him over the years. The thing that stood out and that I hadn't really forgotten, just filed away as one of those this is going to embarass the hell out of you stories though was how years ago when we saw "Four weddings and a funeral" we both cried (yes ok so I cry sometimes when I watch movies, you got something to say about it???) Funnily enough even though we both laughed at the rest of the movie, the funeral scene upset us both, it was as if we both knew somehow we'd be saying goodbye fra to soon. Those of you who have seen the movie will know the scene from the poem below and even though it wasn't particularly sad, the scene was just so filled with passion. It made me giggle when I remembered just how embarrassed he had been at 16 to get caught by his friends all red nosed and puffy eyed after the movie.

Funeral Blues

Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone,
Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone,
Silence the pianos and with muffled drum
Bring out the coffin, let the mourners come.
Let aeroplanes circle moaning overhead
Scribbling on the sky the message
He is Dead.
Put crepe bows round the white necks of the public doves,
Let the traffic policemen wear black cotton gloves.
He was my North, my South, my East and West,
My working week and my Sunday rest,
My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song;
I thought that love would last forever:
I was wrong.
The stars are not wanted now; put out every one,
Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun,
Pour away the ocean and sweep up the woods;
For nothing now can ever come to any good.

W.H. Auden

And yes I'm going to go home and watch Four weddings and a funeral and laugh at how we cried my friend. I'll miss you and even though you won't be here to remember I'll never forget.

Last words

Ok so I think I've said enogh about death and sadness in the last 2 weeks to last me a life time. I have run out of things to write in cards to the families and I really never thought I'd say this but I am TIRED of wearing black. I do have one last thing to post though. I found this while I was looking for something to put in a card that wasn't the stock standard sympathy sap, because firstly everyone always says the same thing and secondly sentimental sap just isn't meant for everyone, some people just deserve so much more.
So here it is my last words on death.

What is death?

Death is nothing at all.

I have only slipped away into the next room.

I am I and you are you.

Whatever we were to each other,

that we still are.

Call me by my old familiar name.

Speak to me in the easy way

which you always used.

Put no difference in your tone.

Wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow.

Laugh as we always laughed

at the little jokes we enjoyed together.

Play, smile, think of me, pray for me.

Let my name be everthe household word

that it always was.

Let it be spoken without affect,

without the trace of a shadow on it.

Life means all that it ever meant.

It is the same that it ever was.

There is absolutely unbroken continuity.

Why should I be out of mind

because I am out of sight?

I am waiting for you,

for an interval,

somewhere very near,

just around the corner.

All is well

Henry Scott Holland

For those that need to know

Seems to me the universe is trying to tell me something, this is the first email I opened this morning. Given how I've been feeling I thought maybe I should share it just so those that need to know, know.

I would rather have one rose and a kind word from a friend while I'm here than a whole truck load when I'm gone.

This ones for you

More of the same

I thought that this weekend would at least be a little more cheerful than the last 2. I thought I would at least get out of any more funerals, at least for a while anyway. Boy was I wrong. Friday night we lost another friend, someone with his whole life ahead of him, someone who at 31 was far to young to die so senselessly. Proving once again violence is not on the decrease and just how little our lives have become worth. Sunday brought news of another death and strangely just because I hadn't seen this person in a long time doesn't make it any easier to hear the news that they're gone. So this week will be spent doing much the same as last week, going to funerals. Hopefully though this is the end. For now at least.

Numb

I've been trying to figure out exactly what it is that I've been feeling. Yes it's been a sad week and yes I spent a good part of it angry and fighting against everything that I've been forced to face. So much so that I've been doing everything I can so that I don't feel anything...........
yes I just want to be NUMB ! ! ! ! !

"Numb"

I'm tired of being what you want me to be
Feeling so faithless lost under the surface
Don't know what you're expecting of me
Put under the pressure of walking in your shoes
Caught in the undertow just caught in the undertow
Every step that I take is another mistake to you
Caught in the undertow just caught in the undertow

I've become so numb I can't feel you there
Become so tired so much more aware
I'm becoming this all I want to do
Is be more like me and be less like you

Can't you see that you're smothering me
Holding too tightly afraid to lose control
Cause everything that you thought I would be
Has fallen apart right in front of you
Caught in the undertow just caught in the undertow
Every step that I take is another mistake to you
Caught in the undertow just caught in the undertow
And every second I waste is more than I can take

I've become so numb I can't feel you there
Become so tired so much more aware
I'm becoming this all I want to do
Is be more like me and be less like you

And I know
I may end up failing too
But I know
You were just like me with someone disappointed in you

I've become so numb I can't feel you there
Become so tired so much more aware
I'm becoming this all I want to do
Is be more like me and be less like you
I've become so numb I can't feel you there
I'm tired of being what you want me to be
I've become so numb I can't feel you there
I'm tired of being what you want me to be

Endings........

This has been a strange week for me, I've spent a good deal of it saying goodbye to people I care about. Yep I wouldn't recommend that anyone does 3 funerals in 3 days, it really is no fun. I have also finally walked away from something that over the last 5 years had become a huge part of my life and that I was extremely passionate about, but politics has killed. I no longer want to be involved with people who are more interested in what they can gain from it and how they can prove they are better than you. Everyday life is full of more than enough of people like that thank you. And I have way to much to give to let other people steal the joy I get from what I do, so I would rather walk away and give my time to something where I know it will make a difference and that I'm just as passionate about. It's also been a week where I have decided that it's time to end my self imposed hiding and to stop accepting. So even though it may have been a week full of endings it is actually really a begining and one I intend to use to my advantage.........

Freedom. . . . . . . . .

"No man is free who is not a master of himself."
Epictetus

Passion. . . . . . . .

Rediscovered..........

As you probably noticed from yesterday's post I'm in a very dark and dreary place.
I'm guessing I probably will be for sometime yet, I still have a lot to deal with and I keep wondering what I have left to lose and when I'm going to lose it.
But I have rediscovered part of my passion.
Last night for the first time in the longest while I felt like me again, I knew who I was and what it is that I needed and wanted to be doing.
I had just lost sight of it.
It doesn't define me and who I am, I'm far more complex than that but it definetly is one of the few things that leaves me feeling alive and excited and willing to take on the world.
I also realised that it's time to let go of what I can do nothing about, there is no saving it, it's had it's time and I've gained from it what I had to. It's not going to be easy because some of it has been around for a long time and has been part of what defined me for so long that I'm going to have to find who I am without it but I'm going to do it.
It is also time to fight for what I want, to save what is worth saving, to stop sitting back and accepting blindly, to stop letting others decide what is best for me or at least what they think is best for me, to make the changes I know need to be made no matter how much they hurt and if they change the way people see me, their loss not mine.
It's time to take back all the bits of me that other people think they are entitled to, it's time to leave those that are holding me back behind me and go forward with those that are helping me grow and become who I'm meant to be.

It's not going to be easy but I'm going to be ME! ! ! !

"There is work that is work and there is play that is play; there is play that is work and work that is play. And in only one of these lies happiness."
Gelett Burgess

I've

been accused of running and hiding. . . . . . I see it as escaping. . . . . You can't hide from what you feel . . . . . . . . . if only I could. . . . . . . I would never give a damn again! ! ! ! ! ! !

Sadness ............ Overdosed

I actually don't know where to start today, I've been trying really hard to come up with something positive to say about this past weekend but am just not finding anything. Friday we lost a close friend. Saturday I tried something and failed hopelessly, it was something that had worked before, this time the chemistry was just gone. A glimmer of the hope I had died when I finally realised that one of the things I really wanted was gone. Sunday someone close to us lost someone special and this morning the news was just as bad, another friend lost senselessly.
I'm trying really hard to feel anything other than a sense of inevitabilty, death and loss are after all, just that, inevitable. The one guarantee we get in this life. Just another thing for me to rise above, after all thats what I do, shut up, accept and carry on, what other choice do I have.

"Peace is not an absence of war, it is a virtue, a state of mind, a disposition for benevolence, confidence, justice."
Baruch Spinoza

Sadness. . . . . . Again

I started the week with the funeral of a friend and I'm ending it with the loss of someone who had a really special spot in my heart

Rest in Peace Lion Carlos, you will be missed

The devil has my soul and

. . . . . .I'm in desperate search of a dark little corner to get lost in. . . . . . . . . . . . Please don't follow me, just let me leave and find my own way back. . . . .

How do I tell someone this without an explanation ? ? ? ?

I wonder which one you'll be. . . . . .

Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Some people move our souls to dance. They awaken us to new understanding with the passing whisper of their wisdom. Some people make the sky more beautiful to gaze upon. They stay in our lives for awhile, leave footprints on our hearts, and we are never ever the same

Oh for a few hours in Morpheus's arms

Eventually I will

Rise Above This

Take the light, and darken everything around me
call the clouds and listen closely,
I'm lost without you

Call your name every day when i feel so helpless
I'm fallin' down
but I'll rise above this,
Rise above this

Hate the mind,
regrets are better left unspoken
For all we know,
this void will grow and
Everything's invain,
distressing you though it leaves me open
Feels so right,
but I'll end this all before it gets me
I call your name every day,
when i feel so helpless
I'm fallin' down,
but I'll rise above this,
rise above this

Call your name every day,
when i seem so helpless
I'm fallin' down,
but I'll rise above this,
rise above this doubt

I'll mend myself before it gets me
(I'll mend myself before it gets me)
I'll mend myself before it gets me
(I'll mend myself before it gets me)

Call your name every day,
when i feel so helpless
I'm fallin' down,
but I'll rise above this,
rise above this

Call your name every day,
when i seem so helpless
I'm fallin' down,
but I'll rise above this,
rise above this

Forty eight ways to say that
I'm feelin ' helpless
Fallin' down,
Fallin down',
but I'll rise above this,
rise above this, rise above this
rise above this DOUBT

Sleepless . . . . . .

Between getting to work really early, the funeral and my meetings yesterday turned into a day that just went on and on and on. I got home just before 11pm last night a full 18 hours after I left for work and being emotionally (yep the funeral left me feeling just a little like I had been through a mincer backwards) and physically (4 meetings on 3 sides of town will do that to you) exhausted I thought I'd get a good nights sleep. Boy was I wrong, I lay there not only for what seemed like hours but really was hours. I read, I listend to music, I took a bubble bath all things that would usually work to some extent, I even did an oracle reading, ok so maybe that was a mistake (and maybe another post as well) but by the time I did it I had realised my mind wasn't going to settle and I was NOT going to be getting any sleep. That's what happens when you have as much on your mind as I did last night, I guess I'm going to have to start dealing with it or I'm going to be spending a lot of nights not sleeping and quite frankly more sleepless nights alone are definetly not something I want. . . . . . . .

Sadness. . . . . Cont

Friday evening I went out with a crowd of friends for drinks for the first time in months and it turned out maybe I should have stayed home.

During the course of the evening I noticed one of the girls was missing, now she and her other half are always up for anything so it really was unusual that they where missing. I never really gave it much thought till I spoke to thier room mate.

Turns out they finally did it and got engaged last Saturday night after 4 years together. It's been a relationship that we have all watched grow and had known was special, even though the start was a little messy what with him being in the middle of a particularly messy divorce which cost him his son. I personally think they went to hell and back in those early days but we all knew it was just a matter of time. So of course we where all excited to hear the news. Sunday they took her parents out to lunch and did the whole ask the parents thing and then spent Sunday evening with his parents celebrating.

. . .This is of course where the universe throws the proverbial curve ball at everyone of us and shows just what a sick sense of humour it has. . .

He was killed on his way to work last Monday morning

I spent this morning watching a friend bury the man she thought she was going spend the rest of her life with and a little boy who kept asking his mother when he could see his daddy

And then people wonder why I don't want to believe in happy endings. . . . . . .

Sadness

And the magic continues

A weekend alone with time to play. . . . . . . I wonder what I did right this week to deserve this. . . . . .

Ok so I have nothing better to do

Hell ....... and back

Magical . . . . . Potential

Magic. . .

I stood out on my balcony last night watching the moon play amongst the clouds, it was almost as if it was playing hide and seek with the stars. There was something magical about it, almost as if the moon was trying to remind me that there is a wide world out there filled with potential and fun. Maybe it's time to listen. . . . . .

It's definetly one of THOSE days

Strange

I had one of those strangely funny experiences last night.

I spoke to a friend of mine for the first time in months. He and his significant other have been off gallivanting the world since October last year so there was stax to catch up on. At some point during the conversation I commented to him that I had started to feel like I was losing myself again and that I needed to find the lost bits fast.

As some of you know this has been going on for a while now but I really had thought I was starting to make inroads into this till a few weeks ago, then it all went slightly pear shaped on me again. Now I've accepted that this is going to be a long term thing and that I'm going to have moments when I end up getting lost, where things change and I wonder off course so that wasn't the problem, it wasn't even strange or funny.

His last comment to me before we said goodbye was "get back to me when you find yourself", not a strange thing for him to say since we've known each other since high school and he has seen me go through more than one of these I need to find me moments and he knows just how far I've really come.

The funny thing happened when I wondered through to my room, I switched on my radio and the first line I heard was from a song I'd never heard before. The line was "when you find you come back to me". Talk about a goosebump moment. I of course had switched on halfway through the song and it was not back announced so I had no idea who it was or what the name of the song was but I wanted to.

So this morning I came into work and went in search of that one line. (damn I love google and youtube on days like this). Needless to say I found it and duly downloaded it as well. Turns out it's the new single from David Cook (he of american idol and Light on fame), it's actually quite a cool song and the lyrics are rather good to.

They of course got me thinking about how when you seem to be losing yourself the people you need the most seem to be those that have walked away, who dont want you and aren't there to see the you, you become. It also made me think of how we all have said at some stage to someone that when they need you, you will be there and you genuinely intended to be, you may even be there the first time or two they call on you to be, but eventually you are just . . . . . gone.

Well not this time, I've made the promise to be there and I will be, the line "And I hope you find everything that you need I'll be right here waiting" says it all. The promise may not have been made for the same reason but I'm definetly here to stay.



Come Back To Me



You say you gotta go and find yourself
You say that you're becoming someone else
Don't recognize the face in the mirror
Looking back at you



You say you're leavin'
As you look away
I know there's really nothin' left to say
Just know I'm here
Whenever you need me
I'll wait for you



So I'll let you go I'll set you free
And when you see what you need to see
When you find you come back to me



Take your time, I won't go anywhere
Picture you with the wind in your hair
I'll keep your things right where you left them
I'll be here for you,



and I'll let you go I'll set you free
And when you see what you need to see
When you find you, come back to me



And I hope you find everything that you need
I'll be right here waiting to see
You find you, come back to me

I can't get close if you're not there
I can't get inside if there's no soul to bear
I can't fix you, I can't save you
It's something you have to do



So I'll let you go I'll set you free
And when you see what you need to see
When you find you, come back to me
Come back to me
So I'll let you go I'll set you free
And when you see what you need to see
When you find you, come back to me

And I hope you find everything that you need
I'll be right here waiting to see
You find you, come back to me

When you find you, come back to me

An almost perfect morning

I woke up early this morning to a storm of note. Since there was no hurry to get up I lay in the dark watching the lightning and feeling the thunder rumble all the way to my very soul. There was of course just that one thing missing to take it from almost to perfect but for now I'll accept almost anyday of the week. For now I'm happy to know that potential is still out there and maybe someday I'll get my chance to have that one perfect morning.

Strange, wierd, good, sad, peaceful and exciting

All words that pretty much describe my life at the moment. The peace I found in last week seems to have taken hold and seems to be hanging around for which I am grateful. Quite frankly the "hyper" that was going on was on the verge of causing me to do something seriously cracked and way over of any boundary I will ever have so here's hoping it's gone for a good long time this time. Sadly today looks like another of those days where I'm not going to get a chance to say everything I want, but maybe thats a good thing since I have the feeling that there are a couple of things that I want to say that may not be things a few people want to hear.

Who would have thought

that Miley Cyrus would actually have something to say that I would want to hear, just another part of what is my weirdly wonderful life and the day that was yesterday. . . . . . .



The Climb



can almost see it
That dream I’m dreaming but
There’s a voice inside my head sayin
,You’ll never reach it,
Every step I’m taking,
Every move I make feels
Lost with no direction
My faith is shaking but I
Got to keep trying
Got to keep my head held high



There’s always going to be another mountain
I’m always going to want to make it move
Always going to be an uphill battle,
Sometimes I'm going to have to lose,
Ain’t about how fast I get there,
Ain’t about what’s waiting on the other side
It’s the climb



The struggles I’m facing,
The chances I’m taking
Sometimes they might knock me down but
No I’m not breaking
I may not know it
But these are the moments that
I’m going to remember most yeah
Just got to keep going
And I, got to be strong
Just keep pushing on,
cause



There’s always going to be another mountain
I’m always going to want to make it move
Always going to be an uphill battle,
Sometimes I'm going to have to lose,
Ain’t about how fast I get there,
Ain’t about what’s waiting on the other side
It’s the climb



There’s always going to be another mountain
I’m always going to want to make it move
Always going to be an uphill battle,
Somebody's you're going to have to lose,
Ain’t about how fast I get there,
Ain’t about what’s waiting on the other side
It’s the climb



Keep on moving
Keep climbing
Keep the faith baby
It’s all about
It’s all about
The climb
Keep the faith
Keep your faith

Ok, So I couldn't resist, I did try promise

Some things are left undone,

some words are left unsaid,

some feelings are left unexpressed,

but some ones as nice as you

could never be left unwished,



HaPpY bIrThDaY mY fRiEnD

;)

Have a good one . . . . . . . . . .

What can I say,

There is so much I would like to say and even more I feel I need to say and yet I seem to be missing the words to make any of it make sense. In the meantime I guess I'll just keep on keeping on. . . . . .

Maybe

growededing up wouldn't be so bad if only Santa or the Easter Bunny would bring me one of these

No reason other than because I can

Mmmmm,

Damn I hope this proves to be right

Monday

Yep it's the first day of our first full week in ages and I have so much to say but no time to write a full post. Hopefully tomorrow will allow. . . . . . . .

Spend it wisely

"Time is infinitely more precious than money, and there is nothing common between them. You cannot accumulate time; you cannot borrow time; you can never tell how much time you have left in the Bank of Life. Time is life...."
Israel Davidson