Sunday, January 3, 2010

Random Me

Letting Go

You'd think that having spent the better part of today going through more of my mom's boxes I'd be in a bad place and yet strangely enough I'm not. For the first time in the longest time I feel like I'm finally on the right track again and yes I know I should have finished my mom's things and they should have all been sorted and disposed of ages ago but I just haven't been in the right place to do it. I don't know why but till today it felt like I was betraying her by giving away her things, almost as if I was giving her away. I'm not going to think it to death , I'm not going to over analyse and I'm certainly not going to question it. I'm just glad that I'm finally ready to let go.

Soccer and 2010

Being South African it's fully expected that we get all excited about and involved in the fact that we as a country are hosting this year's soccer world cup. I'll be honest and tell you I'd probably be more excited about the prospect of a lobotomy. This country has wasted billions of rands that could have been far better utilised delivering on the promises that government made 15 years ago and still has to deliver on. The saddest thing to me is that so many people are pinning their hopes and futures on the "fortune" to be made from the soccer tourists, I don't see it, all I see is the guaranteed increase in crime with the resulting loss of innocent lives both foreign and local. Don't get me wrong the optimist in me is really hoping that we pull this off without incident just to prove to the world that Africa can do it, but the realist in me says hell no this is Africa and if we as a continent can't feed, clothe, employ and house the majority of our people how on earth can we do this without incident.

Hopes

Yes I'll admit it I've come in to the new year with lots of personal hopes. I had a really bad year last year what with being retrenched, losing friends and loved ones to death, divorce and a whole string of other bad things and I'm hoping that this year is going to be a much better one. At least it's starting on a good note, I start a new job on Tuesday morning and I'm really excited about getting back out there and doing something, being at home since September has NOT been fun. I realised I am definitely not stay at home anything material. On the up side I have had time to do a lot of soul searching and have dealt with a few of my inner demons. Unfortunately I still have quite a few that need dealing with but I'm just going to take it one step at a time, one day at a time and hopefully by this time next year a whole lot more of the demons will be gone. And another thing if it wasn't for a few amazing people who filled the end of last year with lots of love and laughter and one in particular who was there when it would have been so much easier for him to just walk away like others did, I don't know how I would have survived the worst 4 months I can remember ever having. They will never know just how much their love and support meant to me. So here is hoping that this year is filled with loads of love and laughter for all of us and that this year's blog will be filled with more good than bad, more happiness than sadness and that the lessons learned will all lead to LOVE and LAUGHTER

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