361 days thats all it took

"but despite all this going on around them they seemed genuinely happy and I even revised my earlier notion from countdown till one of them leaves to maybe just maybe they do have a shot and will actually make it................. and here's holding thumbs that they do beat the odds and become the one in what ever the statistic is that does make it."

I posted that a short 361 days ago.

Sadly I heard yesterday that not even a year later one of them has left :(

I had hoped that I would be wrong about this one, that this would be the one that worked but once again life has reminded me that marriage is NOT a good idea.

It's a long sad story of things that make me regret once again that I'm a woman because of the way some woman behave when they supposedly act out of love.

Don't get me wrong I do believe in love and commitment.

What I don't believe in is this notion that you have to spend your entire life with one person.

People grow, people change and not always in the same way at the same time , you stop communicating, you stop wanting to be together and in a lot of cases the feelings you have for someone change, simply put you grow apart.

It's sad but it's inevitable.

I remember a conversation I had with my Gran when I was 15 or 16 and something she said to me then has stuck with me and taking into account that she and my Grandfather spent 40 odd years happily married it was definitely NOT something you would have expected to hear from her. What she said was that we aren't meant to spend our entire lives loving just one person. That nobody has only one soul mate but rather a number of soul mates that come into our lives when we're ready to learn, teach and grow with them. It took a long time for me to realise she was right, that you love different people differently at different times and that when things change and you've given that person all you have to give them and you can no longer be together you need to move on. It's not failure it's growth.

I could go on and on and about this topic, about fighting for what you believe in, about fighting for your love, about fighting for the children's sake, about fighting to save something society says needs to be forever but the common thread there is fighting and when thats all you do maybe it's time to walk away. And yes I know I'm going to get the but what about the children comments and the but the Bible says so comments and probably a ship load of others not friendly comments as well because most people don't agree with my opinion but it's exactly that my opinion. And it's an opinion developed over the years, first as a child of parents who should NOT have been together but stayed together for the children, then as the girl who believed in love and forever, then as girl who stayed because she didn't want to be the failure and lastly as a girl who has found that love is ever changing and evolving and so are the people she loves and that inevitably means that someday you have to stop being together.