Despite my previous post, I know that all this pain and desperation is necessary. I know I have to go through all this to get to where I'm going. I am after all saying goodbye to the me I used to be, the me that circumstance and people created, the me I've been all my life. I have to to be able to become the real me. And like saying goodbye to anyone that has ever meant anything to you, this is painful and is cutting to the core. But I'm sure that in the long run all the pain and suffering, all the pain and torment relived, all the trauma and terror will be worth it, because I'm building a much better me. Just wish this saying goodbye got easier and NOT more difficult with each passing day.
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