Changes

I've had a very strange week, where I've gone from being completely at ease with what I am discovering about myself and accepting it fully to totally freaking out and wanting to demand the world stop and let me off.

I've been having a hard time with one thing in particular.........the feeling that I'm losing control.

You see for as long as I can remember I've had to be the strong one, the one who handles everything, the one who has to make the hard choices, the grown up if you will and therefore the one who is in control. So for me to realise that I want and maybe even need to let go of control and let someone else take the reigns and be the one in control is a shock to my system, it fights against everything I have had to learn to be in my life. And yet it also feels right, it feels as if I've found a piece of me that has been missing for a very long time. The thought even crossed my mind that if I hadn't had to learn to be in control I may never have realised that it was time to let go and be who I am meant to be.............

So as I go down this road, I may kick and scream and fight what comes naturally sometimes but I think my journey to myself may just be filled with not only learning but also lots of laughter, hopefully love and mostly a life that I will be happy to lead.....

K