Trying very hard to remember

Trying very hard to keep my eye on the prize........

Not sure I want to do this alone but I may just have no choice

One of those days

Got funny things on my mind again

To all those I love today and every day

Mmmmmmmmmm

*smile*

Never been to me

Been listening to 2 or 3 very odd songs that I'm identifying with really strongly for some reason since Saturday. Not sure what to make of them or their significance given my state of mind but I've always been really fond of this one so here are the lyrics :o/

Never been to me
Charlene

Hey lady, you lady, cursing at your life

You're a discontented mother and a regimented wife

I've no doubt you dream about the things you'll never do

But, I wish someone had talked to me

Like I wanna talk to you.....

Oh, I've been to Georgia and California and anywhere I could run

I took the hand of a preacher man and we made love in the sun

But I ran out of places and friendly faces because I had to be free

I've been to paradise but I've never been to me

Please lady, please lady, don't just walk away

'Cause I have this need to tell you why I'm all alone today

I can see so much of me still living in your eyes

Won't you share a part of a weary heart that has lived million lies....

Oh, I've been to Niece and the Isle of Greece while I've sipped champagne on a yacht

I've moved like Harlow in Monte Carlo and showed 'em what I've got

I've been undressed by kings and I've seen some things that a woman ain't supposed to see

I've been to paradise, but I've never been to me

Hey, you know what paradise is?

It's a lie, a fantasy we create about people and places as we'd like them to be

But you know what truth is?

It's that little baby you're holding, it's that man you fought with this morning

The same one you're going to make love with tonight

That's truth, that's love......

Sometimes I've been to crying for unborn children that might have made me complete

But I took the sweet life, I never knew I'd be bitter from the sweet

I've spent my life exploring the subtle whoring that costs too much to be free

Hey lady......

I've been to paradise, (I've been to paradise)

But I've never been to me

(I've been to Georgia and California, and anywhere I could run)

I've been to paradise, never been to me

(I've been to Neice and the isle of Greece while I've sipped champagne on a yacht)

I've been to paradise, never been to me

(I've been to cryin' for unborn children that might have made me complete)

I've been to paradise, never been to me

(I've been to Georgia and California, and anywhere I could run)

I've been to paradise, never been to me

2 Wolves

As Daughtry says I think its time I was heading Home

I'm staring out into the night,
Trying to hide the pain.
I'm going to the place where love
And feeling good don't ever cost a thing.
And the pain you feel's a different kind of pain.

Well I'm going home,
Back to the place where I belong,
And where your love has always been enough for me.
I'm not running from.
No, I think you got me all wrong.
I don't regret this life I chose for me.
But these places and these faces are getting old,
So I'm going home.
Well I'm going home.

The miles are getting longer, it seems,
The closer I get to you.
I've not always been the best man or friend for you.
But your love, it makes true.
And I don't know why.
You always seem to give me another try.

So I'm going home,
Back to the place where I belong,
And where your love has always been enough for me.
I'm not running from.
No, I think you got me all wrong.
I don't regret this life I chose for me.
But these places and these faces are getting old,

Be careful what you wish for,
'Cause you just might get it all.
You just might get it all,
And then some you don't want.
Be careful what you wish for,
'Cause you just might get it all.
You just might get it all, yeah.

Oh, well I'm going home,
Back to the place where I belong,
And where your love has always been enough for me.
I'm not running from.
No, I think you got me all wrong.
I don't regret this life I chose for me.
But these places and these faces are getting old.
I said these places and these faces are getting old,
So I'm going home.
I'm going home. 

What do you see when you look in the mirror?

Personally I see the biggest fool in the world.

I keep on letting in the wrong people
I keep on making myself vulnerable and putting myself out there
and all that keeps on happening is I get hurt.
I let people in, I trust them, I see the good in them and what do I get in return?
Nothing but my guts ripped out, my heart stomped on.
They say the definition of insanity is to keep doing the same thing and expecting a different result.
I guess the verdict must be in then.
Not only am I the worlds biggest fool, I'm also insane.

Guess its a good thing I've  finally realised that I'm not meant to have what others have, that for my sins I will spend eternity alone and lonely.

Roll on December 2012 let's hope the Mayans are right because I certainly have nothing or no one left to live for.