Never gonna be .................. alone (well unless you're me)

You know it's funny you can hear a song literally hundred's of times and it's just a song, just something that plays in the background. Part of the sound track to a life I guess. Then you have a moment like I did just now, where when you're feeling something particular and you hear that same song and suddenly it takes on a completely new meaning. Maybe you HEAR the lyrics for the first time or maybe its message is what you need to hear.

*shrug*

Who really knows or understands these things? Certainly NOT me.

Anyway I've been having a decidedly bad morning, woke up feeling like I'm on the edge of an abyss about to fall and there is nothing and no one to grab hold of to to stop myself falling.

I've been accused of being a user and an emotional blackmailer, Yep, that's what comes of dumping someone that gives you the willies a week after his dad dies. Although I had to giggle at the idea of supposedly having been using him for sex considering those self same willies made it impossible for me to even let him kiss him, guess a single kiss qualifies as sex these days. Wish they'd issue revised rules when the make sweeping changes like that. Got blamed for things being wrong in someone else's life. AGAIN. Funny but in my opinion he has it pretty good thanks to everything I've given up for him, but then again that's just my opinion and it apparently counts for nothing the same way I do. Yeah you guessed it, I'm feeling decidedly lost and very alone despite assurances from the people that matter that I'm not. Hard to believe them actually when you're spending all your time wishing for someone to talk to, for someone to just see you, to hear you.

Futility should be my new second name I guess.

Anyway that's not what this was supposed to be about.

It was supposed to be about the lyrics that I'm about to post again.

Made me feel a little better, even if I've never felt more alone or less important to anyone.

"Never Gonna Be Alone"

Time, is going by, so much faster than I,
And I'm starting to regret not spending all of it with you.
Now I'm, wondering why, I've kept this bottled inside,
So I'm starting to regret not telling all of this to you.
So if I haven't yet, I've gotta let you know...

You're never gonna be alone
From this moment on, if you ever feel like letting go,
I won't let you fall...
You're never gonna be alone
I'll hold you 'til the hurt is gone.

And now, as long as I can, I'm holding on with both hands,
'Cause forever I believe that there's nothing I could need but you,
So if I haven't yet, I've gotta let you know...

You're never gonna be alone
From this moment on, if you ever feel like letting go,
I won't let you fall.
When all hope is gone, I know that you can carry on.
We're gonna see the world out,
I'll hold you 'til the hurt is gone.

Oh!
You've gotta live every single day,
Like it's the only one, what if tomorrow never comes?
Don't let it slip away,
Could be our only one, you know it's only just begun.
Every single day,
Maybe our only one, what if tomorrow never comes?
Tomorrow never comes...

Time, is going by, so much faster than I,
And I'm starting to regret not telling all of this to you.
So if I haven't yet, I've gotta let you know...

You're never gonna be alone
From this moment on, if you ever feel like letting go,
I won't let you fall.
When all hope is gone, I know that you can carry on.
We're gonna see the world out,
I'll hold you 'til the hurt is gone.

I'm gonna be there always,
I won't be missing one more day,
I'm gonna be there always,
I won't be missing one more day.