Just a little gem I came across

“Adversity is the diamond dust Heaven polishes its jewels with."

Robert Leighton

Beginnings and Endings

So here I am beginning a new chapter in this life of mine. An exciting all be it scary one with a new job, a new home and a new unexpected future. I’m looking forward to the freedom and growth that I know will come with it and all the new as yet unknown adventures I’m going to have, the realisation of things that up until now have been mere dreams and possibilities. Right now EVERYTHING seems possible and I’m going to live every moment no matter what it brings.

Unfortunately of course a beginning means something has ended and recently I’ve had a lot of those. Some were inevitable, some were unexpected, some well they weren’t quiet what I’d expected or hoped and one or two hurt far more that I care to admit but I’m surviving and I’m moving on with the help of some amazing friends some of whom never cease to amaze me.

I know some days are going to be more difficult than others and I know some days I won’t want to go on but with the help of those self same friends I’m going to pick myself up, dust myself off, learn the lesson and keep on going, because from here on out I live for me and I intend to become the best me I possibly can be.

Yes, I’m going to live, laugh and love again but this time I’m doing it in the light and for ME and I hope you’ll join me on this journey ;)

Please be patient there will be a brief break in transmission while I move.

I will return to normal programming shortly with lots to say about lots

3 DAYS

:)

Found this while I was looking for something else, just seemed appropriate I guess:)

“Is it possible for the rose to say, “I will give my fragrance to the good people who smell me, but I will withhold it from the bad?” Or is it possible for the lamp to say, “I will give my light to the good people in this room, but I will withhold it from the evil people”? Or can a tree say, “I’ll give my shade to the good people who rest under me, but I will withhold it from the bad”? These are images of what love is about”

- Anthony de Mello

The above quote speaks great wisdom. Love does not discern between good or evil; love does not judge who is to be loved and who is to be hated. Love does not hold back its energy to punish another.

Our core essence is love, we are love, we are from source which is love. We do not need to learn how to be love for that is what we are, we simply must remember what we are, we must remember that we are love!

Where in your life are you withholding the love that you are? Who and what in your life are you avoiding because you believe that your love will not be accepted for what it is?

Today I strive to be the tree and provide shade to all, be the lamp or the Sun and provide light and warmth to all and to be the rose and share my fragrance with all.

Who among us has not benefited from the unconditional giving of the tree, the lamp, the rose?

May we all to remember to be the love that we are!

More than all of that Love is Strength

It gives you the strength to carry on when you don't want to, to do things you never thought you could or would and most of all to walk away when you need to

Happy Birthday

Happy 60th Mommy

Miss you Stax

Earned NOT given

"I don't think anyone can DO anything that would make him worthy of love. Love is a gift and cannot be earned. It can only be given."

Unknown

Guess what they're right.

But I'm done giving, from here on out if you don't earn it I ain't giving it

"Carpe Diem"

I woke up thinking that this morning. But you know what I'm done, no more trying to sieze the day from here on out I'll be happy if I get to sieze moments

Just a thought

"The hardest struggle of all is to be something different from what the average man is."

Charles M. Schwab

I for one REFUSE to be average any longer

Maybe I'm back after all

I’ve had a very strange day.

Never really slept last night, been so much going on in my life for so long now that I had got to the point where relaxing just wasn’t happening anymore, so neither was sleep, but hopefully things changed today.

I must admit that in some ways though this has been a better week than I’ve had in a long time. Took back some of my power on Monday, quit a job I hated with a boss that was just downright nasty, I’ve never been told I was useless or pathetic as many times as I was in the 7 weeks I worked for her so much so I had started to feel weak, useless and pathetic even though I should have known better. Sadly she brought back a LOT of baggage I thought I had dealt with and put to rest years ago with the way she treated me but you know what I beat it once I can do it again. Someone reminded me that I’m a lot stronger than I think I am this week and him I choose to believe. Also started a new “career” on Tuesday, something that has been in “negotiation” for months and it’s something I enjoy, with a boss I love and who can’t stop telling me how glad he is I’m finally working for him because now he knows he’s business is going to grow and become everything he wants it to be.

Anyway that’s not the point I was getting at even if it is part of where I am J

I’ve been very lost this weekend, been hiding and well just wallowing in everything that’s been going on trying to see if I’m still in there anywhere and questioning everything and everyone in my life.

A few things happened this morning though that pushed me out of that place back into the world. My boss (yes he checks up on me) k@ked me out for not leaving the flat since I got home on Friday and being me and not wanting to disappoint him (ok maybe I was just ready but hey who knows) I actually took myself over to the city and did some window shopping and finally invested some of my birthday gift from a friend in the something pretty and lacy she instructed me to buy myself. Long story and NO I’m not sharing the one person who needs to know does :P Anyway I digress, I came back from my excursion feeling a little more in touch with me. For the first time in weeks I could feel the spirits and I was attracted to my crystals, the rose quartz in particular, every time I picked it up though I felt like I was in someone’s presence, this has never happened to me before, freaked me a little but I put it down to that I was missing this particular person lots today. Also felt like reading again, no not escapism reading been doing lots of that I mean real reading J My mom had a really eclectic book collection and I’ve never read some of the books, wasn’t really interested but today seemed like a good day to start so I’m now reading a book on awakening your inner High Priestess and Source-eress , my mom always maintained the right book would appeal when I was ready to read it, maybe she was right, we’ll have to wait and see.

Also had me a Sunday afternoon snooze. In the sun on the mattress on the floor in the lounge. Don’t ask :P Anyway I don’t usually remember dreams in vivid detail and this wasn’t really a dream just voices (yes I’m hearing voices ok) that kept repeating words but I remembered them to the extent of being able to write them down word for word. The voices kept telling me

“when you meet anyone, remember it is a holy encounter. As you see him, you will see yourself. As you treat him, you will treat yourself, as you think of him, you will think of yourself. Never forget this, for in him you will find yourself or lose yourself”

Funny thing is, when I woke up I had this clear vision of the day I met the same person I kept sensing while holding the crystals this morning. I’ve always maintained that around him I feel like I’m becoming the me I meant to be almost as if I’m finding myself. We haven’t spent much time together lately but when we have I’ve been calmer and more me than I’ve been normally. I put this down to that with my previous boss I was well on the way to losing myself again and my brief encounters with him where the universes way of trying to get me back on track and when that didn’t work there was the advise to take back my power which although not directly aimed at me came the day before I did just that, don’t think I would have done it either if I hadn’t read that particular post.

Taking back your power, finding yourself, the people in your life and the impact they have, listening to the universe, getting back on track who knows what this post is really all about. All I can say is it’s the first post I’ve felt like writing in a while and I guess we’re all just going to have to wait and see if this is just a blip on the radar or if I’m honestly back on track and ready to face the world. All I know for sure is that special people come into your life to help you grow into who you are meant to be and everything that has happened today has confirmed to me that regardless of the difficulties and issues surrounding them being there some people are just meant to be in your life. Full stop.

Trying not to

"Feel"

You teach me how to feel
It feels all right
There's nothing left to fear
Finding myself
The further I go
Towards you

You teach me how to love
Parts of myself
I hated for so long
Loving myself
Through loving you

I no longer live like a man in the dark
Hiding all the pieces of my broken heart
Way up high I'm holding on
Way up high I'm holding on to you

You teach me to forgive
It feels all right
Compassion for your pain
Compassion for mine
The circle divides

I no longer live like a man in the dark
Holding all the pieces of my broken heart
Way up high I'm holding on
Way up high I'm holding on to you
Way up high I'm moving on
Way up high I'm moving on to you

Finally

Coming Back to LIFE

Where were you when I was burned and broken
While the days slipped by from my window watching
Where were you when I was hurt and helpless
Because the things you say and the things you do surround me
While you were hanging yourself on someone else's words
Dying to believe in what you heard
I was staring straight into the shining sun

Lost in thought and lost in time
While the seeds of life and the seeds of change were planted
Outside the rain fell dark and slow
While I pondered on this dangerous but irresistible pastime
I took a heavenly ride through our silence
I knew the moment had arrived
For killing the past and coming back to life

I took a heavenly ride through our silence
I knew the waiting had begun
And headed straight..into the shining sun