With all thats been going on in my life lately, I've found myself witdrawing further and further into myself and yet I have had a desperate need to share what I'm going through but of course being the otherwise me that I am I'm to scared to let anyone see my pain in it's entirity, nope no completely letting someone in for me :o (yes I just said that so stop rolling your eyes already)
Anyway, part of this withdrawing thing I do is I stop everything and I mean everything that means anything to me (yep there was a resignation letter written, just hadn't had the guts to mail it because I knew I'd be letting down those that mean the most to me and for that I thank my lucky stars), I don't read the blogs that I follow, I don't communicate with friends (well barely if you can call that communicating) and I basically just disappear into my little world of problems and get snowed under.
Well tonight I was pulled kicking and screaming back from there by 2 events. The first being a friend reading me the riot act and basically telling me to get over myself (not in so many words but you get the idea) (and thanks btw) and the second being I had nothing better to do so I went blog reading nd came across this little gem
'when you are feeling most vulnerable - that that is the time to share those feelings... because in sharing feelings of vulnerability is the time the bond deepens and friendship grows.'
Don't ask me why, I'm not quite sure why yet but this spoke to something deep down inside me that was kicking and screaming trying to get out and that I was simply ignoring.
Guess that wont be the case anymore, yes things suck and yes I'm scared but it's time to let someone know whats going on in this head of mine and in my life and maybe just maybe I'll find myself again while I'm at it........
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