Limitless

"Once we accept our limits, we go beyond them"

Brendan Francis

I have not been having a fun time of late things in my life have gotten totally out of control, complicated and just downright painful and I've spent a whole lot of time beating myself up, talking myself down and quite frankly apart from a few good moments (yes it's me and moments again and thats a whole other post for another time but I digress) I haven't had a clue how to move forward or even if I wanted to bother. In short the universe has been using me for curve ball practise and doing a really good job of it.

But today something changed in part because of coming across this quote and in part because of the realisation that I have been limiting myself. By some cosmic quirk these two things just happened to happen on the same day.

It all started this morning with a mail I sent and me trying to figure out why I was having such a hard time with something and I realised that I was letting fear interfere with what I wanted and by doing this I wasn't allowing myself to be myself, I was limiting the me I allowed someone to see. In this case it was fear of rejection, fear that as in the past this part of me would be unacceptable. Stupid considering, but then again past experience has shaped my beliefs which inturn limited my belief in myself and my abilities. This got me to wondering about just how many other parts of my life I was allowing fear to limit. It would appear that doubt nd fear of rejection, of not being good enough, of not being so many things has been limiting a huge part of who I am. I also realised that those weren't the only limits I was inflicting on myself, in fact I've been letting so much limit me it's not surprising the universe has been having so much fun with me. The biggest realisation though was that all these subconcious limits are in fact limiting my growth into me thereby limiting my potential to be the best me I can be. This realisation I have no doubt will of course come at a cost though and although I'm not sure what it's eventually going to be if the result is a me who is growing and achieving her potential then I say good ridance to the limits that are holding me back. I have no doubt there are going to be times when I test my limits and find they are fixed in stone and there will be times when they will be proven to be nothing more than fear or a built in belief that needs to change, I also have no doubt some will be easier to deal with than others but only time will tell which are which. In the meantime I'm looking forward and taking each moment as it comes and I hope to one day be able to say confidently and without reservation or fear that I am living my life without limits and am on my way to achieving that limitless potential we are all created with but seem to lose to fear, issues and beliefs along the way.

So here to a life of unlimited love, laughter and learning

Look Within

"Adventure is not outside man; it is within." David Grayson

Unconditionally

In the end there are three things that last: faith, hope and love; and the greatest of these is love.

Mine is worthwhile is yours??

"Only a life lived for others is a life worthwhile." Albert Einstein

Fearless Heart

I'm having another of those cant sleep nights. They've become the norm these days, oh well who am I to say what is normal anyway:(

Was watching some mindless tv movie, who knows what really in an attempt to bore myself to sleep when I heard something playing in the background that made me pay attention, sadly though as with most tv movie soundtracks I couldn't find the full lyrics, despite a concerted effort. I am however going to post what I did find...........somehow it seems profound or maybe I'm just really tired :P

I love you with a fearless heart, so why am I afraid, I know that I can't change your course, but there is no other way, you're walking through an open door, I can only watch you leave, this heart will always be your home,

Uniquely You

"Remember that you are unique. If that is not fulfilled, then something wonderful has been lost." Martha Graham

HOPE

Hope is the doorway to power and the mother of sucsess if you hope and believe strongly ,you hold within you the gift of miracles ....when the world says give up,hope says try it one more time ... : )

Something I seem to have forgotten

"Every day brings a chance for you to draw in a breath, kick off your shoes, and dance."

Oprah Winfrey

Breathless

Don't know why but this has been floating around in my mind all morning so I decided to post the lyrics for no other reason than well I CAN :P

Breathless

The Corrs

Go on, go on, leave me breathless
Come on...

The daylight's fading slowly
but time with you is standing still
I'm waiting for you only
The slightest touch and I'll feel weak

I cannot lie
From you I cannot hide
I'm losing the will to try
Can't hide it (can't hide it)
Can't fight it (can't fight it)
So...

Go on, go on, come on leave me breathless
Tempt me, tease me until I can't deny this
loving feeling, make me long for your kiss
Go on, go on
Yeah, come on...

And if there's no tomorrow
And all we have is here and now
I'm happy just to have you
You're all the love I need somehow

It's like a dream
Although I'm not asleep
I never want to wake up
Don't lose it (don't lose it)
Don't leave me (don't leave me)

Go on, go on, come on leave me breathless
Tempt me, tease me until I can't deny this
loving feeling, make me long for your kiss
Go on, go on
Yeah, come on...



And I can't lie
From you I cannot hide
I've lost my will to try
Can't hide it (can't hide it)
Can't fight it (can't fight it)
So...

Go on, go on, come on leave me breathless
Tempt me, tease me until I can't deny this
loving feeling, make me long for your kiss
Go on, go on
Yeah, come on...

Go on, go on, come on leave me breathless (leave me breathless)

Imagination

"There is only one admirable form of the imagination:

the imagination that is so intense that it creates a new reality,

that it makes things happen."

Sean O'Faolain

:)

Live your life like a butterfly dance in the sunlight, take time out to enjoy the flowers and flirt with joy so that everyone who crosses your path smiles because they met you

Ok so I had two posts I wanted to write yesterday.
The one I mentioned in my previous post about how I hadn't been able to get someone out of my head and with good reason it turned out, I never elaborated as it's not my place to but the events served to remind me that it is very rare to connect with someone and when you do you should be reminding yourself and them that they mean something to you regardless of who they are.
The second was about the commercialism of days like valentines day and how come I feel the other 360 odd days of the year are more important and it was well side tracked and proven by yesterdays events.
I was going to leave it alone though and not say anything more about it and then I realised this morning that by doing that I'd be playing straight into the commercial hands that run money making rackets like valentines day because I myself was holding back on exactly what I wanted to say and waiting for what I don't know certainly not next valentines :P

So here it is. . . . . .

Happy Valentines Day,
Happy Easter,
Happy Father's Day,
Happy Mother's Day,
Happy Secretaries Day,
Happy Boss's Day,
Happy Spring Day,
Happy Christmas,
Happy whatever we think we can rip you off with today day.

Yes I have an issue with all these commercially created days and the sickly sweet artificial sentiment behind them. Yes some of these days originally had genuine meaning to many people and in some cases still do but to the majority they are just another way to have your pockets picked legally.

Don't get me wrong I'm not saying I'm not a romantic, hell I can probably be the most romantic soul out there when I put my mind to it and when I feel it's right. What I take offense to with valentines and any number of the other commercially viable holidays is the fact that they're trying to dictate when and where and how I say what I want to say as well as the majority of people seem to having lost sight of the fact that you should be sharing your feelings and telling people you care about them on a daily basis. Instead we hid behind commercialism.

We as a people seem to have lost the ability to think independently and remember whats important to us unless we can by a card to say it, a chocolate to prove it and that in my book is just plain wrong. Now I know it's not easy for a lot of people to express their feelings and if you're anything like me when you eventually do they generally end up coming out all wrong and being misunderstood. Heck, I'll even admit to having bought the occasional card and even recently the occasional "message" chocolate to say something that I'm having trouble saying myself but one thing I've never done and refuse to start now is to let the commercial powers that be dictate when I can say what I want to say.

So to those of you in my life I like, happy I like you day, to those of you in my life who are special, happy you're special to me day, to those of you I love, thank you for being who you are and have a great I love you day, to those of you I've missed out happy thanks for being part of my life day and to those of you reading this and shaking your heads at the nutcase well happy yes there are nutcases in the world day. Oh and in case you don't know what date these days are, they're all today and every single day of the year.

Now go out there, laugh, live, learn and tell those you love before it's to late

Thinking of you

I had this really inane, silly post that I wanted to writetonight about how I couldn't get someone out of my head today and that it had been so bad that I actually switched my phone off to stop myself phoning him.

Now I'm sorry I never phoned, turns out he had a really bad day.

I'm so sorry about what happened, you'll be in my thoughts and prayers.

Thinking of you.

Giggle

If the game is going against you - Stay calm and cheat

"There are a rare breed of people so full of love , they allow you to use them as a punching bag and check that you dont hurt your hand in the process, caring people who's warmth follows them everywhere. They share your joy and feel your pain in a real way!....."

It's so funny when you have something to say and don't know how too and then someone else you know actually says it for you and so much better than you could have hoped to have said it as well. Thanks Lerrin :) And yes I have a feeling I may have found just such a person and I am truly blessed that the universe saw fit to send them my way;)

Feel

I think I've posted these before but that just seem so apt tonight. It's funny how the one person you least expect it from is that one person that helps you start to heal. I've been broken for so long and it hurts so deep down and yet you make it all seem bearable. YOU make me want to feel again.

"Feel"

You teach me how to feel
It feels all right
There's nothing left to fear
Finding myself
The further I go
Towards you

You teach me how to love
Parts of myself
I hated for so long
Loving myself
Through loving you

I no longer live like a man in the dark
Hiding all the pieces of my broken heart
Way up high I'm holding on
Way up high I'm holding on to you

You teach me to forgive
It feels all right
Compassion for your pain
Compassion for mine
The circle divides

I no longer live like a man in the dark
Holding all the pieces of my broken heart
Way up high I'm holding on
Way up high I'm holding on to you
Way up high I'm moving on
Way up high I'm moving on to you

*Goofy Grin*

Been looking for something to express how I feel at the moment and well another failure but hey that's pretty normal around here these days. Despite all the k@k though I am actually in a good place.

And all I can say is

Thank you ;)

Finally someone got it :)

"The only abnormality is the incapacity to love."

Anais Nin

I really want

I'm not really a fan of James Blunt he's to commercial among other things for my taste but I wanted a copy of 1973 off his new album for the simple reason like with Nickelback's Photograph (ok I am a fan so it a little different but) it's not very often something about me get's into a song, photograph being my name and 1973 well giving my age away here but it's the year of my birth, Anyway while I was listening to the copy of the album I got from a friend I came across another gem, well in my book anyway for some reason this song just speaks to me on a different level so you're getting the lyrics :P

I Really Want You

James Blunt

I really want you
Many prophets preach on bended knee
Many clerics wasted wine
Do the bloody sheets
On those cobbled streets mean
I have wasted time

Are there silver shores on paradise?
Can I come in from the cold?
I killed a man in a far away land
My enemy I'm told.

I really want you to really want me
But I really don't know if you can do that
I know you want to know what's right
But I know it's so hard for you to do that
And time's running out as often it does
And often dictates that you can't do that
But fate can't break this feeling inside
That's burning up through my veins

I really want you
I really want you
I really want you... now

No matter what I say or do
The message isn’t getting through
And you’re listening to the sound
Of my breaking heart

I really want you
I really want you

Is a poor man rich in solitude?
Or will mother earth complain
Did the beggar pray for a sunny day but
Lady luck for rain?

They say a million people bow and scrape
To an effigy of gold
I saw life begin
And the ship we're in
And history unfold


I really want you to really want me
But I really don't know if you can do that
I know you want to know what's right
But I know it's so hard for you to do that
And time's running out as often it does
And often dictates that you can't do that
But fate can't break this feeling inside
That's burning up through my veins

I really want you
I really want you
I really want you... now

No matter what I say or do
The message isn't getting through
And your listening to the sound
of my breaking heart

I really want you

Oh well

Have you ever been in that place where you just know that's it, you're done. That no matter what you do or say you're not making any difference and that you're wasting your time. I feel that way this morning :( I can't put a finger on why though since I've had a few really good days and am managing to put a lot of my shit behind me *shrug* oh well

Journey

Since Friday the universe has been shouting at me, telling me things I should have known but had somehow lost, forgotten or maybe I had just never taken the time to pay attention before. So it left me with no option but to listen this time and pay attention. I even feel like for the first time in a long time I'm making progress and I'm going forward :o

She had something more to say yesterday though and she chose a really strange way to do it. Anyone who knows me, knows two things about me first being my television set is pretty much a paper weight and second being I can't live without music. Now being a child of the 70's and 80's I grew up with bands like Santana, Pink Floyd, Bob Dylan, The Doors, Janis Joplin, Kiss, CCR, Black Sabbath, Journey and a myriad of other awsome artists and I like many missed some of these artists when the inevitable happened and a band split.

Yesterday afternoon for some reason I switched on my tv and there the universe was reminding me through the words of Oprah and Journey not to stop believing. Funny..............

Dont' stop Believing
Journey

Just a small town girl
Livin' in a lonely world
She took the midnight train
Goin' anywhere
Just a city boy
Born and raised in South Detroit
He took the midnight train
Goin' anywhere

A singer in a smokey room
A smell of wine and cheap perfume
For a smile they can share the night
It goes on and on and on and on

Strangers waiting
Up and down the boulevard
Their shadows searching
In the night
Streetlights, people
Livin' just to find emotion
Hidin', somewhere in the night

Workin' hard to get my fill
Everybody wants a thrill
Payin' anything to roll the dice
Just one more time
Some will win
Some will lose
Some were born to sing the blues
Oh, the movie never ends
It goes on and on and on and on

Strangers waiting
Up and down the boulevard
Their shadows searching
In the night
Streetlights, people
Livin' just to find emotion
Hidin', somewhere in the night

[Instrumental Interlude]

Don't stop believin'
Hold on to the feelin'
Streetlights, people
Don't stop believin'
Hold on
Streetlights, people

:)

if you are looking for answers look inside yourself......your heart will answer you with love ,your mind will answer with facts and figures.....your soul will speak through that small inner voice(your intuition)and,when you learn to trust it you will find it always tells you the truth!....:)

*shamelessly stolen from a friends fb update but so true if I could only learn to stop second guessing that inner voice because that's what seems t have gotten me into trouble so far this year. The second guessing I mean:P*

Rambling

As is usual when I'm trying to find myself or a solution to something I have taken refuge in music again today. It's funny how even though almost everything around me seems to be disintergrating again there is as always that one thing I seem to be able to trust and believe in (fingers crossed I'm right on this one). I can only hope that I'm busy building a stronger bridge than before with all the rivers I seem to have to cross these days :)

Many Rivers to cross

UB40

Many rivers to cross
But I can't seem to find my way
Wandering, I'm lost
As I travel along the white cliffs of Dover

Many rivers to cross
And it's only my will that keeps me alive
I've been licked, washed up for years
And I merely survive because of my pride

And this loneliness won't leave me alone
It's such a drag to be on your own
My woman left, and she didn't say why
Well, I guess, I've got to try

(I've got) many rivers to cross (rivers to cross)
But just where to begin, I'm playing for time
(I've got) there'll be times when I find myself (rivers to cross)
Thinking of committing some dreadful crime

(I've got) many rivers to cross (rivers to cross)
But I can't seem to find my way home
(I've got) wandering, I am lost (rivers to cross)
As I travel along the white cliffs of Dover

(I've got) many rivers to cross (rivers to cross)
And it's only my will that keeps me alive
I've been licked, washed up for my years (rivers to cross)
And I merely survive because of my pride

And this loneliness won't leave me alone
It's such a drag to be on your own
My woman left, and she didn't say why
Well, I guess, I've got to try

(I've got) many rivers to cross (rivers to cross)
But I can't seem to find my way home
(I've got) wandering, I'm lost (rivers to cross)
As I travel along the white cliffs of Dover

Cause I've got many, many rivers to cross
(I've got) wandering, I'm lost (rivers to cross)
(I've got) many, many rivers to cross

(I've got many rivers to cross)
(I've got many rivers to cross)
Many, many, many, many (rivers to cross)

Belief

I've been listening to the One Tree Hill soundtrack today and I have fallen in love with this song. It just touches something so deep in me for some reason. Sort of a reminder that without belief like hope you have nothing :)

Belief

Gavin DeGraw

Belief, makes things real.
Makes things feel, feel alright.
Belief, makes things true.
Things like you, you and I.

Tonight, you arrested my mind.
When you came to my defense.
With a knife in the shape of your mouth,
in the form of your body, with the wrath of a god.
Oh, you stood by me, Belief

Builds from scratch.
Doesn't have to relax, it doesn't need space.
Long live the queen and I'll be the king.
In the collar of grace.

Oh, tonight, you arrested my mind.
When you came to my defense.
With a knife in the shape of your mouth,
in the form of your body, with the wrath of a god.
Oh, you stood by me, belief.

I'm gonna yell it from the rooftops.
I'll wear a sign on my chest.
That's the least I can do, it's the least I can do.

Tonight, you arrested my mind.
When you came to my defense.
With a knife, in the shape of your mouth,
in the form of your body, with the wrath of a god.
Oh, you stood by me.
And I'll stand by my belief.

I will stand by mine...

belief...

like you stood by me, I wil l stand by mine, stand by my belief...

Ok,

so it's been a tough couple of days again, but I've come to the realisation that I have no control over whats been happening, that I basically have to sit back and enjoy the ride regardless of how bumpy it is because thats what the universe has planned for me right now and who am i to argue with those plans. Yep i'm just a tiny butterfly in a giant cosmic plan and though the winds may be howling right now they will become a gentle breeze again in time:P

*sigh*

Sitting at home wondering where to from here really is NO fun :(