Being alone the last few nights has given me way to much time to think, although for a change it hasn't left me feeling down and unhappy but rather with a reason, a purpose and yes even a reason to believe. Some things may finally be starting to go my way, not everything naturally, not even the things I want most but the little things, the things I have control over, the things I have input in and I chose to believe that if the small stuff is finally working maybe the big stuff isn't far behind.
Reason to believe
If I listen long enough to you
I'd find a way to believe that it's all true
Knowing that you lied straight faced while I cried
Still I look to find a reason to believe
Someone like you
Makes it hard to live without
Somebody else
Someone like you
Make it easy to give
And never think about myself
If I gave you time to change my mind
I'd find a way just to leave the past behind
Knowing that you lied straight faced while I cried
Still I look to find a reason to believe
If I listen long enough to you
I'd find a way to believe that it's all true
Knowing that you lied straight faced while I cried
Still I look to find a reason to believe
Someone like you
Makes it hard to live without somebody else
Someone like you
Make it easy to give
And never think about myself
Someone like you
Makes it hard to live without somebody else
Someone like you
Make it easy to give
And never think about myself
Someone like you
Makes it hard to live without somebody else
Someone like you
Make it easy to give
Friday, February 27, 2009
Thursday, February 26, 2009
ok this is really getting beyond funny ...... I really have got to get some new music on my pc at work, something that wont remind me how alone I really am even though I have more men in my life than I ever have had before................ maybe someday
once again courtesy of Nickelback from Someone that you're with
Because somewhere the one
I wanna be with's with somebody else
Oh god, I wanna be that someone that you're with
I wanna be that someone that you're with
And I can talk about it all day long
'til I run out of breath
But I still wanna be that someone that you're with
I've got to be that someone that you're with
And I'm pacing by the phone
'Cause I hate to be alone
And if you're out there with him somewhere and just about to kiss
God, I wanna be that someone that you're with
once again courtesy of Nickelback from Someone that you're with
Because somewhere the one
I wanna be with's with somebody else
Oh god, I wanna be that someone that you're with
I wanna be that someone that you're with
And I can talk about it all day long
'til I run out of breath
But I still wanna be that someone that you're with
I've got to be that someone that you're with
And I'm pacing by the phone
'Cause I hate to be alone
And if you're out there with him somewhere and just about to kiss
God, I wanna be that someone that you're with
Missing you
I guess this could be classified as an oldie, but it's still a goodie.......it says so much about some of what I'm feeling at the moment. It's hard to comprehend that I miss someone as much as I do and just what I'd give up for five more minutes of his time....it may not be love but it sure is something
Far Away Nickelback
This time, This place
Misused, Mistakes
Too long, Too late
Who was I to make you wait
Just one chance
Just one breath
Just in case there's just one left
'Cause you know, you know, you know
That I love you
And I have loved you all along
And I miss you
Been far away for far too long
I keep dreaming you'll be with me
and you'll never go
Stop breathing if
I don't see you anymore
On my knees, I'll ask
Last chance for one last dance
'Cause with you,
I'd withstand
All of hell to hold your hand
I'd give it all
I'd give for us
Give anything but I won't give up'
Cause you know, you know, you know
That I love you
I have loved you all along
And I miss you
Been far away for far too long
I keep dreaming you'll be with me
and you'll never go
Stop breathing if
I don't see you anymore
So far away
Been far away for far too long
So far away
Been far away for far too long
But you know, you know, you know
I wanted
I wanted you to stay
'Cause I needed
I need to hear you say
That I love you
I have loved you all along
And I forgive you
For being away for far too long
So keep breathing'
Cause I'm not leaving you anymore
Believe it
Hold on to me and,
never let me go
Keep breathing
'Cause I'm not leaving you anymore
Believe it
Hold on to me and,
never let me go
Keep breathing
Hold on to me and,
never let me go
Keep breathing
Hold on to me and,
never let me go
Far Away Nickelback
This time, This place
Misused, Mistakes
Too long, Too late
Who was I to make you wait
Just one chance
Just one breath
Just in case there's just one left
'Cause you know, you know, you know
That I love you
And I have loved you all along
And I miss you
Been far away for far too long
I keep dreaming you'll be with me
and you'll never go
Stop breathing if
I don't see you anymore
On my knees, I'll ask
Last chance for one last dance
'Cause with you,
I'd withstand
All of hell to hold your hand
I'd give it all
I'd give for us
Give anything but I won't give up'
Cause you know, you know, you know
That I love you
I have loved you all along
And I miss you
Been far away for far too long
I keep dreaming you'll be with me
and you'll never go
Stop breathing if
I don't see you anymore
So far away
Been far away for far too long
So far away
Been far away for far too long
But you know, you know, you know
I wanted
I wanted you to stay
'Cause I needed
I need to hear you say
That I love you
I have loved you all along
And I forgive you
For being away for far too long
So keep breathing'
Cause I'm not leaving you anymore
Believe it
Hold on to me and,
never let me go
Keep breathing
'Cause I'm not leaving you anymore
Believe it
Hold on to me and,
never let me go
Keep breathing
Hold on to me and,
never let me go
Keep breathing
Hold on to me and,
never let me go
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
More boxes
My previous post about boxes got me thinking, yes I know a dangerous place to be.
Have you ever noticed how we automatically put the people in our lives into boxes, sort of a mental filing system. Freinds here, lovers here, work colleagues there and so on. We do this totally without thinking, we do it when we meet someone and occasionally someone gets moved from that very firstbox to another. I started thinking about how we catergorise the people in our lives and how we choose the labels that we assign to them. I wish I had the answer but I dont. Although now that I've thought about it, I'm going to pay more attention to how I classify the people I meet and those already in my life and maybe I can work out how I pick the boxes I put them into.
And maybe, just maybe I will find an answer or maybe even think twice before I put someone in a box just because of what they look like, who they are with, what they wear or some such silly thing.
I may not be able to avoid boxes, but I'm sure gonna look twice at whats in them and what I put in them.
Living in a box, laughing at a box, learning about boxes and loving whats in some of my boxes.
Have you ever noticed how we automatically put the people in our lives into boxes, sort of a mental filing system. Freinds here, lovers here, work colleagues there and so on. We do this totally without thinking, we do it when we meet someone and occasionally someone gets moved from that very firstbox to another. I started thinking about how we catergorise the people in our lives and how we choose the labels that we assign to them. I wish I had the answer but I dont. Although now that I've thought about it, I'm going to pay more attention to how I classify the people I meet and those already in my life and maybe I can work out how I pick the boxes I put them into.
And maybe, just maybe I will find an answer or maybe even think twice before I put someone in a box just because of what they look like, who they are with, what they wear or some such silly thing.
I may not be able to avoid boxes, but I'm sure gonna look twice at whats in them and what I put in them.
Living in a box, laughing at a box, learning about boxes and loving whats in some of my boxes.
Boxes, boxes, boxes
Boxes of ornaments, boxes of linen, boxes of shoes, boxes of stuff. Boxes, that’s all a life eventually amounts to.
Since losing my mother 14 months ago most of her things have been in boxes in storage. Boxes I’ve gone to visit occasionally when I needed to find something. Boxes that I haven’t had the nerve to start sorting. I finally decided to take the plunge so to speak recently, so off I went to the storage locker and collected a few boxes. These stood in a corner in my flat staring at me, taunting me, daring me until last night. I was in a really strange place, I was alone not by choice but because none of the men in my life where available.
So I finally opened the first box……..shoes………… yes a box full of shoes, the majority of which have never even been worn, you see my mom had a thing for shoes. Even though she had a favourite few pairs that she wore constantly, she was always on the look out for the next favourite pair. There was also no method to how she picked them or at least none that I was able to establish from looking through the shoes as they came out the box. Some where practical walking shoes, some where cute girly shoes and some well the only word for them is impractical and yes there was even a pair of trusty takkies. Then of course the where the colours, pink, red, grape, blue and even black & white check. I of course can’t wear half of them and the others, well lets just say they are not my style. So now I sit with a box of shoes that I have no use for and no one to give them to, well not as yet anyway. I thought unpacking the boxes would make me sad and possibly even morbid but strange as my next statement is going to sound I actually feel better in a strange way. You see my mom used to love shoe shopping and unpacking the box actually reminded me just how much fun we used to have traipsing from shop to shop looking for the exact pair of shoes she was looking for at the time. Her excitement when she eventually found what she was looking for was always so contagious as well and I couldn’t help but enjoying these shopping trips with her. So yes there are days I miss her intensely.
There are times I wish she was here to talk to, sometimes she was the only voice of reason in my insane life. And I even miss the shopping trips but I’m sure she is shopping up a storm in the shoe shops wherever she is today. And just in case you where wondering …… no matter what I do with all the others there is one pair of extremely impractical shoes that I will be keeping even if I never wear them at least a bit of my mom will always be with me. Heels to you mom, I miss you.
Since losing my mother 14 months ago most of her things have been in boxes in storage. Boxes I’ve gone to visit occasionally when I needed to find something. Boxes that I haven’t had the nerve to start sorting. I finally decided to take the plunge so to speak recently, so off I went to the storage locker and collected a few boxes. These stood in a corner in my flat staring at me, taunting me, daring me until last night. I was in a really strange place, I was alone not by choice but because none of the men in my life where available.
So I finally opened the first box……..shoes………… yes a box full of shoes, the majority of which have never even been worn, you see my mom had a thing for shoes. Even though she had a favourite few pairs that she wore constantly, she was always on the look out for the next favourite pair. There was also no method to how she picked them or at least none that I was able to establish from looking through the shoes as they came out the box. Some where practical walking shoes, some where cute girly shoes and some well the only word for them is impractical and yes there was even a pair of trusty takkies. Then of course the where the colours, pink, red, grape, blue and even black & white check. I of course can’t wear half of them and the others, well lets just say they are not my style. So now I sit with a box of shoes that I have no use for and no one to give them to, well not as yet anyway. I thought unpacking the boxes would make me sad and possibly even morbid but strange as my next statement is going to sound I actually feel better in a strange way. You see my mom used to love shoe shopping and unpacking the box actually reminded me just how much fun we used to have traipsing from shop to shop looking for the exact pair of shoes she was looking for at the time. Her excitement when she eventually found what she was looking for was always so contagious as well and I couldn’t help but enjoying these shopping trips with her. So yes there are days I miss her intensely.
There are times I wish she was here to talk to, sometimes she was the only voice of reason in my insane life. And I even miss the shopping trips but I’m sure she is shopping up a storm in the shoe shops wherever she is today. And just in case you where wondering …… no matter what I do with all the others there is one pair of extremely impractical shoes that I will be keeping even if I never wear them at least a bit of my mom will always be with me. Heels to you mom, I miss you.
Update
Just an update on yesterdays post. The taxi driver who hit Bernadine Kruger on Monday has been arrested and is expected to appear in court tomorrow or Friday.
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Bernadine Kruger may your soul find peace
In the arms of an angel
Fly away from here
From this dark cold hotel room
And the endlessness that you fear
You are pulled from the wreckage
Of your silent reverie
You're in the arms of the angel
May you find some comfort there
You're in the arms of the angel
May you find some comfort here
Fly away from here
From this dark cold hotel room
And the endlessness that you fear
You are pulled from the wreckage
Of your silent reverie
You're in the arms of the angel
May you find some comfort there
You're in the arms of the angel
May you find some comfort here
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