Stupid and pathetic

I'm feeling so stupid and pathetic this morning.
It doesn't compute.
None of it does.
I had an great weekend.
I had fun.
It was exciting.
I experienced new things.
Did things for the first time.
Did things for and with someone who means the world to me.
I should be on top of the world, really I should.
But ...........................................................

For some reason I find myself needing to talk to the one person I don't seem to be able to get alone.
I need something I don't know what it is.
I find myself craving reassurance, needing validation, wanting something I'm not even sure what.

As I said stupid and pathetic.

Rambling I guess

Got SO much going on in my head today.

My feelings are SO intense almost overwhelming.

Things are changing, for the better I hope.

Foolish maybe but something has changed for me it's like I finally see myself and it's odd and intense and empowering all at the same time.

Been listening to this and two other songs on repeat, songs that are talking to me, saying things that I don't quite get yet. But it's this one that is giving me goosebumps everywhere, not really an Avril Lavigne fan I think it was the Chad Kroeger connection that first drew me to it, Nickleback SO need a new album.............

"Let Me Go"

(with Chad Kroeger)

[Avril Lavigne]
Love that once hung on the wall
Used to mean something, but now it means nothing
The echoes are gone in the hall
But I still remember, the pain of December

Oh, there isn't one thing left you could say
I'm sorry it's too late

[Chorus]
I'm breaking free from these memories
Gotta let it go, just let it go
I've said goodbye
Set it all on fire
Gotta let it go, just let it go

[Chad Kroeger]
You came back to find I was gone
And that place is empty,
Like the hole that was left in me
Like we were nothing at all
It's not what you meant to me
Thought we were meant to be

Oh, there isn't one thing left you could say
I'm sorry it's too late

[Chorus]
I'm breaking free from these memories
Gotta let it go, just let it go
I've said goodbye
Set it all on fire
Gotta let it go, just let it go

I let it go and now I know
A brand new life is down this road
And when it's right, you always know
So this time I won't let go

There's only one thing left here to say
Love's never too late

[Chorus]
I've broken free from those memories
I've let it go, I've let it go
And two goodbyes led to this new life
Don't let me go, don't let me go

Don't let me go, don't let me go, don't let me go, don't let me go

[4x]
Won't let you go, don't let me go

With you

Please forgive me

The last few months have left me feeling very fragile and broken when I need to be at my strongest and I am finding that I am very demanding and needy and want things like I never have before, not that that should really be a problem after all I deserve a little of the good stuff in life as well but somehow I always end up feeling guilty and unreasonable when I ask for what I want and I guess I am finally realising that I want more even if its silly and not about to happen and for that I ask your forgiveness, I know you need me to be stronger and I really am trying I just don't know how to without you. So I guess this is just a plea for you to forgive my weakness and know that I will always love you even when the sun stops shining .......

"Please Forgive Me"

Still feels like our first night together
Feels like the first kiss, it's gettin' better baby
No one can better this...
Still holdin' on, you're still the one.
First time our eyes met, same feelin' I get
Only feels much stronger, wanna love you longer
You still turn the fire on...

So if you're feelin' lonely ‒ don't
You're the only one I ever want.
I only wanna make it good
So if I love you a little more than I should...

Please forgive me ‒ I know not what I do.
Please forgive me ‒ I can't stop lovin' you
Don't deny me, this pain I'm going through...
Please forgive me if I need you like I do.
Please believe me, every word I say is true...
Please forgive me I can't stop loving you

Still feels like our best times are together.
Feels like the first touch, still gettin' closer baby
Can't get close enough.
Still holdin' on, you're still number one.
I remember the smell of your skin,
I remember everything,
I remember all your moves I remember you, yeah!
I remember the nights, you know I still do.

So if you're feelin' lonely ‒ don't
You're the only one I ever want.
I only wanna make it good
So if I love you a little more than I should...

Please forgive me ‒ I know not what I do.
Please forgive me ‒ I can't stop lovin' you
Don't deny me, this pain I'm going through.
Please forgive me if I need you like I do
Oh, believe me ‒ every word I say is true.
Please forgive me ‒ I can't stop loving you.

One thing I'm sure of is the way we make love.
And one thing I depend on is for us to stay strong.
With every word and every breath I'm prayin'
That's why I'm sayin'...

Please forgive me ‒ I know not what I do.
Please forgive me ‒ I can't stop lovin' you.
Don't deny me, this pain I'm going through.
Please forgive me if I need you like I do.
Babe, believe me ‒ every word I say is true.
Please forgive me if I can't stop loving you.
Never leave me ‒ I don't know what I'd do.
Please forgive me ‒ I can't stop loving you,
Can't stop loving you.

So if you're feelin' lonely don't
you're the only one I ever want
I only wanna make it good
so if I love ya a little more than I should
Please forgive me, I know not what I do...
...I can't stop lovin' you
Don't deny me this pain I'm going through...
...if I need ya like I do
Please believe me every word I say is true...
...our best times are together...
...touch, still gettin' closer baby
Can't get close enough...
Still holdin' on, still number one
I remember the smell of your skin...everything
...all your moves...you, yeah!
...the nights ya know I still do...
...One thing I'm sure of is the way we make love
And one thing I depend on is for us to stay strong
With every word and every breath I'm prayin'
That's why I'm sayin'...
...Never leave me I don't know what I'd do...

Heard this and it made me think of you *blush*

Incredible
Celine Dion (with Ne-Yo)

Whole world is watching us now
It's a little intimidating
Since there's no way to come down
Lets give them something amazing

Lets make them remember
Using one word

Incredible oh oh oh ohhh
Incredible oh oh oh ohhh
Lets make them remember
We were incredible
Simply incredible
Oh oh oh ohhh

We even counted us out
We weren't sure we'd make it
But we've learned no matter what they dish out
It's nothing, we can take it

We'll go down in history
They'll describe our love as

Incredible oh oh oh ohhh
Oh incredible oh oh oh ohhh
Lets make them remember
and we were
we were incredible
simply incredible
oh oh oh ohhh...

Lets make them remember
They'll describe our love as

Incredible oh oh oh ohhh
Oh incredible oh oh oh ohhh
Lets make them remember
that we were
we were incredible
simply incredible
it's something amazing

Let's give them something amazing

Happy Birthday to my best friend...........................

There is so much I want to say to you but don't know how to find the words. 

                               "I Believe In You"

Somewhere there's a river
Looking for a stream
Somewhere there's a dreamer
Looking for a dream
Somewhere there's a drifter
Trying to find his way
Somewhere someone's waiting
To hear somebody say

I believe in you
I can't even count the ways that
I believe in you
And all I want to do is help you to
Believe in you

Somewhere someone's reaching
Trying to grab that ring
Somewhere there's a silent voice
Learning how to sing
Some of us can't move ahead
We're paralyzed with fear
And everybody's listening
'Cause we all need to hear

I believe in you
I can't even count the ways that
I believe in you
And all I want to do is help you to
Believe in you

I will hold you up
I will help you stand
I will comfort you when you need a friend
I will be the voice that's calling out

I believe in you
And there are just so many ways that
I believe in you
Baby, what else can I do but believe in you
Believe in you
All I want to know is you believe, yeah, yeah
Believe in you

For you sweetpea, heard it this morning and it made me think of you

Bright Eyes

(Art Garfunkel)

Is it a kind of dream ?

Floating out on the tide 
Following the river of death downstream 
Oh is it a dream? 
There's a fog along the horizon 
A strange glow in the sky 
And nobody seems to know where it goes 
And what does it mean? 
Oh is it a dream? 

Bright eyes, burning like fire 
Bright eyes, how can you close and fail? 
How can the light that burned so brightly, 
Suddenly burn so pale? 
Bright eyes 

Is it a kind of a shadow 
Reaching into the night 
Wandering over the hills unseen 
Oh is it a dream? 
There's a high wind in the trees 
A cold sound in the air 
And nobody ever knows where you go 
And where do you start? 
Oh into the dark 

Bright eyes, burning like fire 
Bright eyes, how can you close and fail? 
How can the light that burned so brightly, 
Suddenly burn so pale? 
Bright eyes 

Bright eyes, burning like fire 
Bright eyes, how can you close and fail? 
How can the light that burned so brightly, 
Suddenly burn so pale? 
Bright eyes

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qs8bpQN6TWY