I wanna do it till the sun comes up
until we're both so good and sweaty
that we can't stand up
I wanna do it till we're both about to dro
pas long as we're tied up together
then we're never gonna stop
Yeah...we're gonna love it
when the lights go down
hold on here we go
yeah...we're gonna go until our legs give out
round and round we go
yeah...we're gonna do it hangin upside down
up and down we go
yeah...we're getting ready for the next go round
round and round we go
Thursday, July 2, 2009
Where can I find some courage
"Courage is the art of being the only one who knows you're scared to death."
Harold Wilson
Harold Wilson
Sunrise
I lay in the dark watching the sun rise this morning and 2 things crossed my mind.
Yes only 2!!
Somtimes I just dont feel up to multitasking:).
The first was what the hell happened. I was in such a good "head" space when I left work yesterday and then bam 2 phone calls and an sms and all I wanted was to fight. As someone found out and for which I owe one huge apology. Actually if I'm honest that was just a defense mechanism what I really wanted was to hide in a corner and forget. Forget that it still hurts when I speak to Chris's Mom and I realise all over again he is gone and I'll never see him again, I miss his laugh, his voice and the way he could make me feel better with just a smile regardless of how long it had been. History really does suck. Don't miss the neck thing anymore though someone else does it WAY better. Forget that I was fighting really hard to make someone undestand that me walking away has nothing to do with him and everything to do with me. It's my fault we dont work anymore, its my fault that I haven't been able to let go and let it happen and it my fault that he feels abandoned. I'm the one with the problem.
The second well that was pretty much just a personal aha moment. And it's one I think I'll keep to myself for just a little while. It needs to compute and right now may just be saying to much.........
Yes only 2!!
Somtimes I just dont feel up to multitasking:).
The first was what the hell happened. I was in such a good "head" space when I left work yesterday and then bam 2 phone calls and an sms and all I wanted was to fight. As someone found out and for which I owe one huge apology. Actually if I'm honest that was just a defense mechanism what I really wanted was to hide in a corner and forget. Forget that it still hurts when I speak to Chris's Mom and I realise all over again he is gone and I'll never see him again, I miss his laugh, his voice and the way he could make me feel better with just a smile regardless of how long it had been. History really does suck. Don't miss the neck thing anymore though someone else does it WAY better. Forget that I was fighting really hard to make someone undestand that me walking away has nothing to do with him and everything to do with me. It's my fault we dont work anymore, its my fault that I haven't been able to let go and let it happen and it my fault that he feels abandoned. I'm the one with the problem.
The second well that was pretty much just a personal aha moment. And it's one I think I'll keep to myself for just a little while. It needs to compute and right now may just be saying to much.........
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
Just a strange thought I had
Have you ever had one of those moments when you realise that all you really want to do is run away and hide???? It's funny I've been feeling that a lot lately and not for the reasons that you would think either. Yes things have been bad, my finances are a never ending black hole, my job is in jeopardy but whose isn't and I'm alone again although this time by choice and yet things actually feel like they are getting better.
The real reason I want to run and hide is because I want to hide from myself.
This journey I've been on of late has been so filled with pain, loss, hurt and so many other things that I don't know if I'll ever really be me again and yet I dont really know if I want to be that me anymore. How strange is that..........
The real reason I want to run and hide is because I want to hide from myself.
This journey I've been on of late has been so filled with pain, loss, hurt and so many other things that I don't know if I'll ever really be me again and yet I dont really know if I want to be that me anymore. How strange is that..........
LOL,
Ok so someone sent this to me yesterday and I had to fight the urge to send it to certain people. You know you gotta avoid offending and such these days. So anyway I decided to post it here for the WHOLE world to see.
*chuckle*
What do you get when you cross PMS with GPS????
*chuckle*
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